Please please help, my life is over

Convicted Driver Insurance
Just an.update, had court yesterday, 15 month ban, reduced if I do driver awareness course, £440 fine, they didnt mention about any points.
Im going to hand in my resignation at work I cant cope .

Thank.you to all for your support.
 
Marmite2505 said:
Im going to hand in my resignation at work I cant cope ..
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Don’t be daft. You’re already over the worst bit. Now it’s just a countdown until you reset back to normal. Speaking as someone who got double the ban you did! This isn’t great, but it’s nowhere near the end of the world.
 
I would definitely not hand your resignation in without careful thought. You sound like a great nurse. Even nurses make mistakes.

If you do hand in your resignation and wanted to return to nursing you would have the additional worry of passing the enhanced DBS check. At least currently you are a known quantity for your Trust.

You've had an unpleasant experience but DD isn't crime if the century. Time goes on, after a while you will realise it isn't nearly as hard as you thought to get around without a car. It isn't worth throwing your career away for, I'm sure if you speak to your manager they will be able to suggest a way forward.
 
I honestly would try not to worry too much.

Despite the media vitriol, most of us drink, and most of us have gone out, had a couple of drinks, done the mental calculation that we are probably just about okay to drive, and got behind the wheel.

You work in a role where you care for people. I wish I could say I've never made a mistake as a nurse but it happens. People make mistakes. As long as you approach it openly and as something you have learnt from I am confident your manager will be understanding.
 
Marmite2505 said:
Im just so so ashamed of.myself, I dont want anyone to know
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You've done the difficult bit - Court and penalty - now its time to regroup, get yourself together. My name and offence appeared in the local paper and I feared EVERYONE in the world would read it and condemn me. As it turned out - the few people who did, offered only support when I seen them. You sound like a normal, hardworking individual who made a mistake. Take the hit and move on - don't quit your job.
 
Marmite2505 said:
Im just so so ashamed of.myself, I dont want anyone to know
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The people that matter won’t judge you. And the people that judge you don’t matter. I didn’t know what to expect from this, and was scared like you. My name and address was in the local rag, but as far as I am aware nobody saw it. Or if they did, they haven’t mentioned it to me. My parents, my wife and my kids know. And a couple of friends. I have had two reactions. 1. You silly sod. 2. There but for the grace of God go I.

As I said before... there is absolutely nothing good about this. The repercussions for what was, in the end, just a mistake that harmed nobody, are horrendous. But seriously... nobody is wasting their time thinking about what you or I did. What other people think... particularly people you don’t know... is the least of your worries.
 
You were dreading facing court, but now you have.
You could just resign, but that is delaying the day when you will have to face up to the impact the conviction has on your job. As TipseyNurse has said previously, it is better for you to try and be relocated within your trust now, as a known worker (who has made a mistake) than resign and then have to try again with a new Trust that doesn’t know you. The conviction will show up on your DBS check for 11 years (assuming it is your only conviction) so you will still have to confess to your sins at a later date. Speak to your union rep or a manager you know and trust and set about telling HR about the conviction. You have an obligation to do this, or run away, turn your back on a vocation that is much more than a job and you, including your children, live on reduced means for years.
You became a nurse to help people. My wife and daughter are both nurses, my other daughter is a doctor, none of them could imaging a like where they were not helping people. Honestly, can you see yourself in a routine job because you cannot face a problem than many people on here have faced, and got through it?
 
15 month ban minus 15 weeks for doing the course = less than a year. I am sure you can manage that.

The course is an eye opener in more ways than one - you will see people from all walks of life, all with different circumstances - you are not alone.

how will handng in your notice hel the situation - keep your job whatever the new role may be - you have others that rely on you and the worst thing you can do is stew at home with no job
 
Oh.god im a fool, I panicked and said I just got a fine not a ban, now they want me to type my lisence number in the dvla website.???
 
Marmite2505 said:
Oh.god im a fool, I panicked and said I just got a fine not a ban, now they want me to type my lisence number in the dvla website.???
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Yes, you are a fool. You have just lied to your best chance of an ongoing job.

I tell people on the course, it often isn’t the drink driving that gets you sacked, it is the lying about it. The conviction may not actually be on the DVLA database yet, How are you going to explain not driving? Car in for repair would only get you past the first couple of weeks..... stop panicking and deal with the issue.

YOU NEED TO COME CLEAN NOW
 
Marmite2505 said:
How do I admit that I lied now ? im just digging a hole
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Stop digging your hole. Nothing to be gained now.
If the person who you told has dealt with DD before, then they already knew you didn’t just get fined. That doesn’t happen. DD is a compulsory ban.
I have to *travel* for my job. I’m 7 months in with 17 to go. It’s an enormous expense, but taxis, chauffeurs and favours have made it work so far. Don’t give up.
 
Marmite2505 said:
Shall.I just say I got confused
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Yeah, that’ll work. Despite standing in front of magistrates who told you you were banned, Then the paperwork from the court stating when your end of ban was, and the follow-up letter that told you if you drive during your ban you’re in serious trouble... you were ‘confused’ and thought you weren’t banned.

You were scared and panicked. That is true. That you were “confused” is even more lies for absolutely no gain.
 
You were signed off because of stress. Just come clean, say you panicked because you are ashamed of the conviction. Unless you have actually continued driving hopefully they will understand. You may get a written warning.

You need to not stick your head in the sand, if you lose this job you will realistically have a big pay cut in any other job.
 
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