Please please help, my life is over

Convicted Driver Insurance
TipsyNurse said:
With DD you need to be careful that what you think is mitigation doesn't actually become an aggravating factor.

If you had packed a bag the court may well interpret that you knew in advance that you would be over the limit and yet you still chose to drive - that you were out of control.

The next logical question they will ask is "When you regain your licence, if you got the same call would you drive again?". That would be a difficult one to answer because if you say no, then again it points you being out of control that night.

It is best just to avoid that whole area because you risk justifying your actions which will not help your case that this is a one off mistake that you will never repeat.

As for the domestic violence, I am hugely sympathetic and glad you are in a better place now. But again, think what it adds to your case. It would appear that you had adequate childcare in place. If you are saying because of the DV that your child having a meltdown was forseeable, then again the question will be why did you not have a plan in advance to get home.

If it wasn't, then the court may well feel sympathetic to you but it seems to have little relevance to the offence unless you are saying you were drinking a lot because of the DV, which is misuse of alcohol and could potentially cause you problems further down the line.

I hope that makes sense. It is normal to want to explain things. However, in the pressure of the court room it is incredibly easy to start justifying your actions and/or that you would repeat them if the same circumstances arose.

Unless you are 100% certain it will aid your case the best thing to do is apologise and say it will never happen again. The safest strategy is to avoid entirely getting into explanations unless they amount to a reason to reduce your ban.
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Great advice from Tipsynurse as she states do not over complicate matters keep simple look sorry take it on the chin, like said Magistrates usually follow sentencing guidelines but don't give them food for thought! You made a mistake make it look and stay as a mistake without complications
Have you arranged Solicitor or using Duty Solicitor
It's tougher for you being a nurse putting forward aggrivated circumstances , just simples of bad run of events and a concerning call from the babysitter that evening is enough, the Alcohol which your not Normally accustomed with(now add references) clouded your professional judgement.
There's not a single judge up nor down this country found them selves not in pickle through Alcohol unless there TT
but don't mention that bit LOL

Plus*
Judges hands are almost tied with guidlines and they have another 40 case's that day! Last thing they want to hear is a Nurse's long winded version trying to give good reason to endager other live's that evening
 
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TipsyNurse has given you excellent advice. I would add one more thought.
Be prepared for anything that is put forward in your case in court to be quoted in the press......
Sometimes they do publish details of driNk driving cases, sometimes not, but if it sound “interesting” that it is more likely to appear in the local paper. Only have said on your behalf what you would be happy for your family and neighbours to read about!
 
Good luck on the day. Looking at the other good comments, the overnight bag is a bit of a double edged sword. If you don't mention it then the magistrate will think you would have driven home later anyway (possibly having consumed more alcohol) whereas if you do mention it, the fact that you did drive was not planned but a reaction to a panicked call from your baby sitter. On balance the magistrate would expect you to make a considered decision and as it wasn't life or death, it was the wrong one. As others have said, best to keep it simple and avoid making it look like you are making an excuse. Let us know how you get on. Based on your personal circumstances I hope that some leniency is shown.
 
Marmite2505 said:
I.justwww keep wishing I washave dead
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You may not lose your job-there was a lady on the course with me who is a midwife and she hadn't lost her job because of it, I think it's only if you have more than one dd offence . Don't do anything stupid, your kids need you
 
Pen said:
You may not lose your job-there was a lady on the course with me who is a midwife and she hadn't lost her job because of it, I think it's only if you have more than one dd offence . Don't do anything stupid, your kids need you
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Marmite works as a community nurse, e.g has to drive as part of her job. She will not lose her registration entirely.

I think you have to remember that you are in this situation because you did the right thing in the wrong way. You heard your child was in distress and your reaction was to drop everything to be by her side.

Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have such a caring mother. Yes in retrospect you wouldn't have driven but, being realistic, it will be inconvenience and upheaval for a bit then you will have your licence back, you will be a better driver for it, and the world will continue to turn.

If you don't already I would get some Diazepam or similar to tide you over the next couple of weeks. The worst part is the lead up to the court case and whatever happens at work. Once both those are finalised you will find you have a huge sense of relief.

If it helps silver linings get a trailer for your bike, nothing is more exciting as a kid than being carted around in a trailer when everyone else at school is in a boring car!
 
Just to let you know, I was actually fleeing a dv incident with 2 kids in tow, we were at a hotel I had no intentions of driving that night and had been asleep for about 3 hours before my ex came home, I tried to get another room after the incident but the member of staff i spoke to didn’t speak English, I put the kids in the car and put my phone on charge I was going to call my mum to come and get us, my little boy was terrified of the man coming back, I started to drive I knew I shouldn’t but I wanted to get to a service station, my back light was out I got pulled by police and blew 61, my van ends on the 24th of this month, leading upto the court date I was physically sick with what ifs and what’s going to happen, I was ashamed and severely depressed especially with putting my children in danger, my brother in law who is a firefighter wrote me a character reference and they took that into account, the court date was nerve wrecking but not as bad as I thought, it will all be over soon I promise, please look into doing the course they offer it has taught me so much and the support I received from it was amazing, look into bus routes for school runs etc, and maybe look into going into care work in a home setting instead of the driving around caring, hope this helps, you are not a bad person you made a mistake that is a lot more common than you realise cx
 
Marmite2505 said:
I.need a job though
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A lot depends on your Trust but as you are very likely to keep your registration then you could always do bank work, and if you can keep some core hours this could be on a substantive basis which means registration is very quick and you don't need to go to interviews or have a CRB check.

You would need to check your Trust policies as to whether you could go back to community work when your ban finishes, or after five years when the conviction drops off.

Really you need to discuss this with your manager and/or union rep as every Trust is different. There is information on the NMC website about what your obligations to them are.

You need to discuss this ASAP as many Trusts will suspend you without pay if you don't have a valid registration.
 
Marmite2505 said:
I really dont want to tell her but I know I have to, what should I say
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Every manager is different, some will want to do things by the book, some will try and keep things in department, some will want to get HR and occured health involved.

It might be worthwhile thinking about what you want to do. My Trust has an "open borders" policy where band 5s can transfer between departments without needing an interview, pending your registration. If your manager is supportive they may be able to expedite the process.
 
The one universal thing is that people say it is a massive relief after the court hearing. Yes, you are banned, but at least the uncertainty is over.

Remember that judges tend to be fairly kind especially if you don't have a solicitor. They will ask questions to help understand the offence but they aren't out to humiliate or punish you in the court room. All you need to do is be respectful (refer to the three magistrates as "your worship" or "sir/madam", or just sir/madam if it is a judge sitting alobe.), be remorseful, honest and apologetic and you can't go too far wrong.

Court hearings are open to the public so if you aren't first on the list you can sit in court for a few hearings to see how it works.

When you turn up you will find most of the people there are in tracksuits and sullen so a polite nurse will be a welcome break for the bench.
 
All you need to take with you is

Your means form detailing income - otherwise they will assume £440 a week. Don't worry too much about outgoings, they generally ignore these unless exceptional.

If you intend to rely on any references five copies of each.

You may also want to make a note of any key points you wish to make when you address the magistrates although this should only be for a minute or two.

Plus remember it is good to look nervous and as if you don't know the process. If you looked like you did this all the time and didn't give a monkeys that would be much worse!

If you may want to attend the course to reduce the ban make sure you ask for it at the time, although it will usually be offered. You don't have to attend even if offered, but you can't change your mind and get the course unless it has been offered on the day.

If you are very nervous you can ask the court whether you can have a Mackenzie friend who is allowed to sit with you and advise you, although the whole thing will last about 15minutes so this is probably overkill.

Finally, don't drive to court as the ban.begins immediately.
 
How do I do the form? Can I do it on the day, im really overdrawn anyway , also will they take into.consideration I am a single mum of 3 children and will loose my job as a consequence??? Thank you for all your advise id be so much more.worse.
 
You should have already received it and must, at least roughly know your income?

The fine will be based on your current income but you can ask to pay it in installments if you wish. You need to agree the payment plan on the day. The courts tend to be flexible but likewise they know you have an in-demand skill and will no doubt find a new job.
 
Marmite2505 said:
Thankyou, any idea what to take with me ?
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It will be ok. I was so nervous. I took a friend which helped. I cried a lot too - I didn’t mean to but I think the fear took over.
Once the court date is over you can move past this awful period.
I am just past the one month mark of 18 month ban and if I can get through it- you can.
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