Hi
New to this as I have no where else to turn. A very close friend of mine drinks and drives. They completely deny drinking when you can hear it in their voice, see it in their actions. I'm so worried about them. I want to help but every time I bring it up or speak to them when they have drunk driven they get abusive, defensive.
Any advise would be much appreciated
I can speak from personal experience here. I have been banned twice since 2016. Current ban is not up until October 2021. Honestly, unless your friend want's to stop drinking (and driving,) there is literally NOTHING you can do to convince them they have a problem. I have now been sober for almost 2 years after developing a problem in my 50's and I can tell you that all the threats and badgering in the world makes no difference. (Just ask my wife, friends and family.) You need to reach rock bottom before you decide to stop. I used to consciously drink and drive. I knew I was over the limit but always felt in control and once the alcohol kicked in I 'knew' I was a good driver that would never get caught.
The first time I was followed by a police car, stopped, breathalysed, spend Friday night, Saturday and Sunday in Police custody before going straight to court on the Monday. I blew 124 (yep, 124,) at the Police Station, and received a £400 fine and a 2 year ban. I also caused mayhem, stress and worry for my family as they had no idea what had happened to me after I had been arrested (so much for the police calling your family and letting them know. Apparently there is no such thing as an accused phone call.) But I still didn't stop drinking until around 2 months before the HRO Medical. After getting my licence back, I kept up the abstinence for a while but started drinking again after a few weeks and was caught (someone reported me,) and banned for 27 months (including the discount for the Drink Drivers Awareness Course,) about 2 months after I got my licence back. That was on the 12 July 2019 and I stopped drinking on the 24th (I went to AA.)
Luckily I never crashed or injured anyone.
I began binge drinking to deal with stress and pain from physical ailments. An 'excuse,' but not a reason.
I have no idea why your friend drinks, but like me he obviously needs to be shocked into doing something.
I would report him if he drives drunk again. In fact I would report anyone I suspected, not through some twisted concept of revenge because it happened to me, but because I want other people to be safe.
As I said in another post elsewhere, if you drink any alcohol, then at some time in the past or the future (and especially in Scotland with it's much lower Drink Driving limits,) you will drive while technically drunk.
Show him my post if you like, because his attitude sounds very like the one I had 2 years ago.