Feeling very low and depressed.

Convicted Driver Insurance

Stupidoverhere

Member
I was charged with Drink Driving just under a month ago and have been feeling very low since the incident. I'm absolutely furious with myself for being so selfish and complacent over what could have happened. The thought of hurting/killing someone due to my recklessness is really getting to me. I guess I deserve it though.

This was totally out of character of me yet I have no defence. I'm just finding it hard to live a normal life with the court date looming over me. I feel like I've ruined my life over my actions with my future prospects destroyed. My partner also finished with me over the incident, I don't blame him. Who wants to be with such a irresponsible fool. My family have been kind as they can see the state I'm in. Disappointed in me obviously but my mother is just such a brilliant woman.
I'm finding it difficult to get through the day. Once I've finished work I get in bed by 8pm waiting for the day to end. Some morning I just don't want to wake up and yes I have thought I'm better off dead. I hate myself right now.

Sorry for depressing post. I'm just letting out my feelings to people I don't know which sometimes works better for me. On my my family know what has happend as I'm scared of people's reactions. My ex
proved that I'm not worth bothering about so keeping quiet about it all.

Thanks for listening
 
Stupidoverhere said:
I was charged with Drink Driving just under a month ago and have been feeling very low since the incident. I'm absolutely furious with myself for being so selfish and complacent over what could have happened. The thought of hurting/killing someone due to my recklessness is really getting to me. I guess I deserve it though.

This was totally out of character of me yet I have no defence. I'm just finding it hard to live a normal life with the court date looming over me. I feel like I've ruined my life over my actions with my future prospects destroyed. My partner also finished with me over the incident, I don't blame him. Who wants to be with such a irresponsible fool. My family have been kind as they can see the state I'm in. Disappointed in me obviously but my mother is just such a brilliant woman.
I'm finding it difficult to get through the day. Once I've finished work I get in bed by 8pm waiting for the day to end. Some morning I just don't want to wake up and yes I have thought I'm better off dead. I hate myself right now.

Sorry for depressing post. I'm just letting out my feelings to people I don't know which sometimes works better for me. On my my family know what has happend as I'm scared of people's reactions. My ex
proved that I'm not worth bothering about so keeping quiet about it all.

Thanks for listening
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Hi

Just from the perspective of someone who has been there

The very first thing i would advise you to do is look long and hard about your drinking.NOW.
If you are on top of your drinking and feel you have it under control you can then go back over the past,and look to ensure it doesn't get that way again in the future.If you are unsure there are places for you to call,I would advise you look up your local Council/Borough Community Alcohol team.

You can speak to them anonymously and they will advise you on how to go forward should you need any help.(You have to specifically ask for your gp not to be informed)They will also discuss with you ways for you to address how you feel about this if you already have your drinking under control.They may well suggest "Talking Therapies" a free counselling/Behavioural therapy type options available to you free in your area.

But their primary concern will be to make sure you are not in crisis now.That goes for any alcohol issues you may or may not have.And your general well being,and to ensure you have the best support to move forward in your life.

I have been in some awful places due to my alcohol dependence in my life.From job losses to car crashes,to rehabs,to liver failure.But i am here still and over a year completely sober and still trying to move forward.Please get some help or advice or just a friendly chat with someone who will care my friend.Whatever has happened to you today can always be rectified tomorrow,no matter how low you feel now about yourself,there is always someone there who will understand,and genuinely want to help.

If you cannot find your local "Community Alcohol team" try this number,

All the best.


  • Drinkline national alcohol helpline on 0300 123 1110
 
Thank you for your message Sean. I rarely drink. That's why I am so annoyed with myself. My father is an alcoholic and growing up watching him succumb to the bottle put me right off! I was just in a situation I didn't want to be in on the evening and took myself away. But of course that's no excuse for driving whilst under the influence. I just hope I can find some inner peace down the road.
I'm glad to hear you are sober. Keep going. Alcohol is such a controlling drug from what I have seen. The longer you are sober the more better your life will continue to be so.
 
Stupidoverhere said:
Thank you for your message Sean. I rarely drink. That's why I am so annoyed with myself. My father is an alcoholic and growing up watching him succumb to the bottle put me right off! I was just in a situation I didn't want to be in on the evening and took myself away. But of course that's no excuse for driving whilst under the influence. I just hope I can find some inner peace down the road.
I'm glad to hear you are sober. Keep going. Alcohol is such a controlling drug from what I have seen. The longer you are sober the more better your life will continue to be so.
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Hi Stupid, I know how hard it is at the moment, but I promise it will get better!!!! Beating yourself up is not going to help, you just need to accept your mistake and move on. Look forward to the future where you know you will never make this mistake again. Having supportive family around you is brilliant, yes they might be disappointed, but I'm sure they know it was out of character and will not happen again.

Keep your head down for a few weeks, I know you are probably not wanting to look people in the eye at the moment, but I promise you that people are not thinking about it as much as you think they are. Don't dwell on things, try to go to bed at a sensible time and make yourself get up at normal time also. Letting this hang over you will drive you towards depression and anxiety, I can tell you from personal experience that this is not a nice place.

I would suggest looking for something called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) either through your GP or via self help books on Amazon. This helps you think in a different manner, and helped me change my depressive ways. You can't change the past so just move on, you can however decide the future and this is what you need to concentrate on.

Good Luck!!!
 
Hi Stupid, I felt exactly the same. I thought the low mood and depression would never end but it does get easier. I have only told people who need to know that I’ve lost my licence as my sister-in-law told me, it was no-one else’s business. I’ve reached the point that if friends judge me on one very stupid mistake and stop contact with me, they were not really a good friend anyway. You are better off without your partner if he can’t support you through this. If it had been the other way around, would you have left him? You are worth bothering about and you will get over this but I know we all struggle at times. I’m so glad I was caught before I seriously hurt or killed someone. It could have been so much worse for you and I. If you are doing the course that reduces your ban, I felt this really helped to talk to others in the same boat and my trainer was great and didn’t judge us. I promise you every day/week it will get easier.
 
Elsa70 said:
Hi Stupid, I felt exactly the same. I thought the low mood and depression would never end but it does get easier. I have only told people who need to know that I’ve lost my licence as my sister-in-law told me, it was no-one else’s business. I’ve reached the point that if friends judge me on one very stupid mistake and stop contact with me, they were not really a good friend anyway. You are better off without your partner if he can’t support you through this. If it had been the other way around, would you have left him? You are worth bothering about and you will get over this but I know we all struggle at times. I’m so glad I was caught before I seriously hurt or killed someone. It could have been so much worse for you and I. If you are doing the course that reduces your ban, I felt this really helped to talk to others in the same boat and my trainer was great and didn’t judge us. I promise you every day/week it will get easier.
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Thanks Elsa. You are very kind. I wouldn't have left my partner if he had done the same, but I've never been a judgemental person. People make mistakes. But everyone differs in their attitudes.
 
I'm very worried about appearing in the press too. I can't bear the thought of being splashed all over the papers and social media. I wish I could just hide on the day of the court case.
 
Stupidoverhere said:
I'm very worried about appearing in the press too. I can't bear the thought of being splashed all over the papers and social media. I wish I could just hide on the day of the court case.
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When is your court date? You’ll feel better when this is over and out of the way.
 
Stupidoverhere said:
First week of October. I hope it doesn't get delayed due to COVID
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Hi there,firstly you have made a mistake but you have not injured yourself anybody else or caused an accident.you will feel down and depressed for the forcoming months but this will pass believe me.aslong as you can keep your job going and the kids if any are well that's a good starting point.dont worry at all about the courts you will be in and out in 15 mins if you plead guilty.its surprising how fast your ban will pass you just become a little restricted travel wise but you will cope.take one day at a time.Remember make the day count don't count the days,and don't say nothing to nobody unless they need to know.it may well be in the local paper you can check when you arrive in court if a reporter is there.It does get easier.what was your reading.
 
neebob200 said:
Hi there,firstly you have made a mistake but you have not injured yourself anybody else or caused an accident.you will feel down and depressed for the forcoming months but this will pass believe me.aslong as you can keep your job going and the kids if any are well that's a good starting point.dont worry at all about the courts you will be in and out in 15 mins if you plead guilty.its surprising how fast your ban will pass you just become a little restricted travel wise but you will cope.take one day at a time.Remember make the day count don't count the days,and don't say nothing to nobody unless they need to know.it may well be in the local paper you can check when you arrive in court if a reporter is there.It does get easier.what was your reading.
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Thank you Nebob. I blew 69 on breath. Looking at between 17-22 months
 
neebob200 said:
Hi are you hiring a solicitor.remember to ask the judge for a drink driving course this will reduce your ban by 25 per cent.
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Hi yes have obtained a solicitor. There was an accident too which the police did record as not being my fault. However it's an aggravating feature sl best to have legal assistance in my case.
 
Stupidoverhere said:
I'm very worried about appearing in the press too. I can't bear the thought of being splashed all over the papers and social media. I wish I could just hide on the day of the court case.
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Hi I was in your position last year had to wait from May to Nov to get to court
Although Despite nothing being said about my job nor was there a reporter in court I appeared in the press
1/2 page with photo with my job title heading it up. They had info from a old press release by my work about so thing I had led on.
It was free paper and covered whole area
I was destroyed but with help from dear friends I survived
Work were fab as totally out of character, & had to be investigated by my professional body who surprised us by not taking it further
I drive again the end of Nov
It’s a filter to who your true friends are & there are some surprises I’m sure
Motto is you will survive after court a weigh is lifted alth the press a week later was very hard
Advice from a friend
“Walk tall and look the whole world in the eye”
Let this make you thrive not just survive
Good luck
Ps do tell your employer as they prefer to know in advance
One weasel I work with took great delight in running to my manager saying he was worried about me - BS he has not spoken to me from that day or emailed !
 
Hi Stupid. I’m in exactly the same situation as you. I got pulled over last night after stupidly jumping in my car to travel a few hundred yards. My husband is supportive but like you, I feel soooo bad. I’ve never broken the law in my life before and the thought of having a ban, alongside DR10 on my licence for 11 years is terrifying. I totally accept my actions were totally wrong and deserve what penalty that is offered in December this year. However, the guilt and sadness is overwhelming at the moment. Stay strong.
 
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