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Worried sick

Desperate mum

New member
My 21 year old son has been caught drunk driving. This is a massive shock and totally out of character. He is in bits and I'm worried sick. I wake up fettling sick and go to bed feeling sick... I need to support him and try and convince him his life isn't ruined. If anyone can help I'd be so grateful
 

C8720

Well-known member
Hi. Do you know what the result of your son’s breath test was?
I was arrested two days ago for drink driving (first ever offence) and completely get what you are going through, I haven’t been able to eat or sleep properly and I keep crying uncontrollably.
has your son been given a court date? A lot of people say after the court date things will seem a lot better as at the moment it must feel like a bit of limbo as you are waiting to know what the outcome will be.
People on this forum are really nice and helpful, I only just joined yesterday :)
Take care and I hope your son is doing ok, he is probably feeling so sad in himself at the moment and wishing he could turn back time x
 

Desperate mum

New member
Thank you for replying. Yes it was 94 which is bad. He damaged his car but thank God nobody else involved. We lost his Dad in car accident when he was 2 so this is so painful. We know he's obviously going to be banned. It's his first offence for anything... Court date 23rd June. I just keep crying and worrying about him as he can't believe what he's done. I know I need to get a grip for his sake
 

C8720

Well-known member
My court date is 23 June also!!!! I kind of wish it was sooner as I just want it to be over with. That is good no one else was hurt.
I wasn’t even pulled over by the police, my car broke down on a round about (the clutch on a brand new car - what are the chances?)and the police happened to be driving round and came to help me and then asked if I had been drinking :( I feel like maybe it happened for a reason because if I had carried on driving maybe I would of hurt someone or myself :( keep wishing I could go back in time I feel like an absolute idiot.

Ask to do the course as it will reduce your sons ban by 25% I will definitely be doing this. Have you spoken to a solicitor? I spoke to one yesterday he said I didn’t need representation and that he can provide a letter of mitgigating circumstances which could hopefully reduce my ban a little bit, Iv accepted now I’m looking at around 18 month ban and a fine :(
 

Desperate mum

New member
Yes I spoke to the solicitor he saw at the police station who said similar. He agreed my son should write a letter of remorse etc. I can't think of any mitigating circumstances for him....he doesn't remember much about it. The strange thing is if he had been less drunk he definitely wouldn't have done it as he would still have been able to make the right decision. The police officer at the station said he could see he was a good lad who had made a horrendous mistake and he had conducted himself well when caught. I really appreciate you taking the time to support me.... like you, I guess, I just feel so alone with this
 
To the court non of the above will really matter, he will be given a ban and a fine, most likely 12-18 months, and get a chance at a drink driving rehabilitation course, no amount of sorrys or worrying will stop the sentence from coming, after the bans given he will know how long he hasto wait.. 9 or 12 months (thats with the reducing course), then the hard work really begins playing the waiting game until its over.. currently 6 months into a 12 month ban and my car was life.. most certainly hard but he will get through..
 
‘Mitigating circumstance’ doesnt really fly either, unless your a brain surgeon on ur way to save someones life after a few brandys then theres nothing a court will consider, ‘i need my car for work’ wont work nor will ‘i look after an elderly grandparent’

its absolutely brutal but theres nothing can be done except stay strong get the ban done and get on with life.
 

neebob200

Well-known member
Thank you for replying. Yes it was 94 which is bad. He damaged his car but thank God nobody else involved. We lost his Dad in car accident when he was 2 so this is so painful. We know he's obviously going to be banned. It's his first offence for anything... Court date 23rd June. I just keep crying and worrying about him as he can't believe what he's done. I know I need to get a grip for his sake
Hi sorry to hear about your sons mistake,it happens to the best of us but he's not hurt anybody.he will be classed as a high risk offender when he comes to renew his licence,so looking forward he needs to contain his drinking to under the weekly allowance a good few months before his dvla medical,hope all goes well at court and it's not as bad as you would expect.good luck.
 

Honestman

Well-known member
Drink Driving Penalty
Details of offence as provided by you:
  • Specimen Type: breath
  • Alcohol Level: between 90 and 119
  • No previous drink driving related convictions within the proceeding 10 years
  • You have not been disqualified two or more times for 56 days or more within the proceeding 3 years
Based on the information you provided above, upon conviction of driving with excess alcohol, Magistrates' sentencing guidelines suggest:
  • A driving disqualification of 23 - 28 months; and
  • A Low to high level community order
Classed as High Risk Offender
Because the level of alcohol in your system exceeded 87.5 microgrammes per 100 millilitres of breath, or 200 milligrammes per 100 millilitres of blood, or 267.5 milligrammes per 100 millilitres of urine you will be classed as a high risk offender.

High risk offenders are required to take and pass a DVLA Medical before their driving licence will be returned to them upon expiration of their driving driving disqualification.
Drink Driving Rehabilitation Course
All courts usually offer first time offenders the opportunity to take the drink driving rehabilitation course. A court may allow an offender to take the course a second time where there is a good reason to do so. Offenders will not usually be offered a chance to take the course for a third time. Completing the course can reduce any disqualification period imposed by up to 25%.
Enter New Information
 

January

Well-known member
Follow info on thus forum as it will help you
Court : go for dummy run & sit in so you get a flavour of what happens
Character refs : try to get son some are excellent good on this site if suggested wording
Letter of remorse : for the bench plus noting realising what it corks have done ie killed someone
HRO : see this forum re how to manage that & you need to get your son to engage with gp
You have not said if your son works - may need to tell employers
Driving course: have to ask before leaving court.
I did the course ASAP in February but with covid there is now a delay plus in getting licences back

House insurance : need to declare as it’s a conviction- see forum for advice as some companies will not cover any conviction ie LV but I got one through a broker which was good. Just don’t be in the position where you or your son are refused insurance so check just ask do you cover someone with a DR10 conviction before giving your name or ask on this forum
It is a very hard time , I got stopped last May & had to wait until November for court so am now 1/2 way through ban
You eventually stop hating yourself but you don’t forgive yourself
Keep in touch with the forum as they really helped me
 

M burduja

Well-known member
My 21 year old son has been caught drunk driving. This is a massive shock and totally out of character. He is in bits and I'm worried sick. I wake up fettling sick and go to bed feeling sick... I need to support him and try and convince him his life isn't ruined. If anyone can help I'd be so grateful
Your son is lucky
Follow info on thus forum as it will help you
Court : go for dummy run & sit in so you get a flavour of what happens
Character refs : try to get son some are excellent good on this site if suggested wording
Letter of remorse : for the bench plus noting realising what it corks have done ie killed someone
HRO : see this forum re how to manage that & you need to get your son to engage with gp
You have not said if your son works - may need to tell employers
Driving course: have to ask before leaving court.
I did the course ASAP in February but with covid there is now a delay plus in getting licences back

House insurance : need to declare as it’s a conviction- see forum for advice as some companies will not cover any conviction ie LV but I got one through a broker which was good. Just don’t be in the position where you or your son are refused insurance so check just ask do you cover someone with a DR10 conviction before giving your name or ask on this forum
It is a very hard time , I got stopped last May & had to wait until November for court so am now 1/2 way through ban
You eventually stop hating yourself but you don’t forgive yourself
Keep in touch with the forum as they really helped me
Good morning January how to take the course after how long for example I have court on 16 I will receive 18 ban when I have to take the course?
 

Desperate mum

New member
Follow info on thus forum as it will help you
Court : go for dummy run & sit in so you get a flavour of what happens
Character refs : try to get son some are excellent good on this site if suggested wording
Letter of remorse : for the bench plus noting realising what it corks have done ie killed someone
HRO : see this forum re how to manage that & you need to get your son to engage with gp
You have not said if your son works - may need to tell employers
Driving course: have to ask before leaving court.
I did the course ASAP in February but with covid there is now a delay plus in getting licences back

House insurance : need to declare as it’s a conviction- see forum for advice as some companies will not cover any conviction ie LV but I got one through a broker which was good. Just don’t be in the position where you or your son are refused insurance so check just ask do you cover someone with a DR10 conviction before giving your name or ask on this forum
It is a very hard time , I got stopped last May & had to wait until November for court so am now 1/2 way through ban
You eventually stop hating yourself but you don’t forgive yourself
Keep in touch with the forum as they really helped me
Thank you so much. I'm hoping I will eventually wake up not feeling sick every morning. My role is to support my son which means hiding how I'm feeling. We will get through this. It's still just so raw at the moment
 

January

Well-known member
Your son is lucky
Good morning January how to take the course after how long for example I have court on 16 I will receive 18 ban when I have to take the course?
I did the course ASAP as I wanted it behind me. I contacted the course provider as soon as I could & booked so got early bird discount
So glad I did as with covid things are in hold
Personally doing it ASAP I found best as it does raise everything again. Now with DVla closed there is a backlog on licences
 

January

Well-known member
Thank you so much. I'm hoping I will eventually wake up not feeling sick every morning. My role is to support my son which means hiding how I'm feeling. We will get through this. It's still just so raw at the moment
I had to wait may - October for letter to give me a court date - I dint know how I survived
But you do it’s very hard & impacts massive - is your son working? Just one day at a time

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