Sad and lonely

Convicted Driver Insurance

Mazdag

Member
Hey all, i was convicted of drink driving over a month ago and given a 20 month ban having a reading of 107. I’m 20 years old and I’ve suffered from crippling depression for a while. This is the first time I’ve ever drink drove and truth be told it was actually a attempt on my life when I purposely flipped my car. I had just been given antidepressants to use which had started to make me feel way worse. I’m so lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore. I lost my girlfriend a month before the incident, I was slipping deeper into the darkness which I could never pull out of, all interests i once had I no longer have any motivation, I just finished my community service and I’m taking a year away from uni to do a 6 month electrician course, but in all honesty I just lay in bed lately and my heart breaks over and over.
 
Hey all, i was convicted of drink driving over a month ago and given a 20 month ban having a reading of 107. I’m 20 years old and I’ve suffered from crippling depression for a while. This is the first time I’ve ever drink drove and truth be told it was actually a attempt on my life when I purposely flipped my car. I had just been given antidepressants to use which had started to make me feel way worse. I’m so lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore. I lost my girlfriend a month before the incident, I was slipping deeper into the darkness which I could never pull out of, all interests i once had I no longer have any motivation, I just finished my community service and I’m taking a year away from uni to do a 6 month electrician course, but in all honesty I just lay in bed lately and my heart breaks over and over.

Anti-depressants take from 3 weeks to 3 months to reach peak effectivness depending on the base line of serotonin already present in your body, given that you're fresh off the back of a suicide attempt I would say it's low pal. I have been where you have been, suicide attempts, drink driving at 22, depressed, no will to go on, never getting out of bed. Let me tell you that it does get better as long as you stick at it and do the things that are suggested to you, time is the biggest healer.

At 22 I was an alcoholic, not a friend to my name, family finished with me, no job, no exams, no roof over my head. When I lost my licence that was the push I needed to actually engage with services, do the things they were telling me to do and get better. I'm 25 now, my own place, family back in my life, my own car, a partner, doing a Law degree and enjoying life. I still have my days sometimes, but they are now few and far between. That's a lot better than every day like it was then. Time and patience my friend, you will get there, it does get better. This electrician course might be your calling, you don't know until you try so don't pack things in before you get the chance.
 
Well done in taking the first step here to express what's troubling you. What are you studying at uni? What made you decide to take a year off? You'll find this a place full of people who made a mistake/messed up through drink driving . You were only convicted a month ago, early days yet.
 
I haven't commented here for a very long time, but had to today. Do listen to Grice - a really wise person. A sensible head, knows their stuff, and kind. You will be ok, I promise. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. Maybe it's a serious wake up call. It was for me. Good luck x And Grice, I can't believe you're 25. You are a brilliant person.
 
Hi Mazdag

First thing I will say young man is, give yourself a pat on the back. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you have a problem, so well done.

I'm fast becoming an old fogey and of that generation where us blokes kept quiet about our problems, even when I was your age. Try not to bottle things up as all they will do is gnaw away at you, and that's not good for you, and I am sure you know that. I can't and won't pretend I know or understand how you feel but there is help out there and some amazing people who can and will do their utmost to help you through your depression.

The loneliness, is hard after a drink drive conviction to begin with, believe me I know that. I got banned in May and because my partner lived a fair distance away, and had a young family it made it near on impossible to continue - we have only recently admitted that to ourselves, add to that I live alone I understand how you might also feel about being lonely. It has caused me heartache and upset, however I have told myself it is now time to turn the page on that chapter of this book called life and deal with it. The reason I am waffling on and telling you this is to say that things will get brighter, because over time you really can adapt to the temporary change, (and it is temporary), and if you give yourself the chance then you will.

You are a young man, with a whole life ahead of you, that may sound crazy right now but you will (if you keep a level head) be able to drive again, this ban is only temporary. Yes, the conviction hangs around for a while but you will still be a young man when it is gone for good (again if you keep a level head)...in some respects I wish I could say the same.

The urge to pull the covers over your head and keep the curtains closed is understandable, but see if you can find yourself a routine, nothing major, but things to keep you feeling brighter, and a bit of normality ...... up in the morning, get a shower and a shave (unless you have a beard !), exercise...its amazing how a bit of exercise can raise your spirits and freshen you up, take a walk, ride a bike. I have done all those things and they have helped me a lot.....and yeah I know that's what old fogeys do, but you may find it helps you clear your head a little.

You are starting to get through it already, you've done your community service, you are doing a a course to learn a trade...you see, you are ticking the boxes off already, and that's a positive thing !!

You can still do your studies at a later date if you want....if it is something you enjoy then study anyway at home. Unless you really have to then there is no reason to tell anyone of your conviction, its none of their damn business, so get out there hold your head up high and just remember that you can and will learn to deal with this as long as you tell yourself you want to. And also remember that there is bunch of us here that for differing reasons and results are all in a similar situation so come and have a rant about it here if you need to.

Blimey, that was a boring read now I've read it back to myself !! haha

Keep positive, and good luck
 
Mazdag, you have reached out that us a great start. All of us on here ( not Price who is the font of experience ) have been convicted or waiting for DD
We can all testify to the awfulness of the situation & impact on our lives. We as Grice has eloquently written things can get better & will do. But do listen to the advice above getting a routine is a priority & do not hide away. Try to set some small goals to help get a routine
Are you getting help from anyone or someone to speak to? What about your university tutor - I know you are on a year off interruption of studies but still linked & they may get you to access counselling services
Talking really helps as does writing down your thoughts & feelings or recording them if you prefer
You have started by reaching out things will only get better
We are all on here to help
 
Hey all, i was convicted of drink driving over a month ago and given a 20 month ban having a reading of 107. I’m 20 years old and I’ve suffered from crippling depression for a while. This is the first time I’ve ever drink drove and truth be told it was actually a attempt on my life when I purposely flipped my car. I had just been given antidepressants to use which had started to make me feel way worse. I’m so lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore. I lost my girlfriend a month before the incident, I was slipping deeper into the darkness which I could never pull out of, all interests i once had I no longer have any motivation, I just finished my community service and I’m taking a year away from uni to do a 6 month electrician course, but in all honesty I just lay in bed lately and my heart breaks over and over.
Well done for completing your community service , and for posting on here . The only thing I can promise is that things will get better . Please persevere with your medication , keep contact with your GP, and get any help you can re your mental / emotional health concerns. Trying to address stuff , slowly but surely, will help you to recover your well being and will hold you in good stead for when you have to go through the process of applying for the return of your licence . You take care .
 
I haven't commented here for a very long time, but had to today. Do listen to Grice - a really wise person. A sensible head, knows their stuff, and kind. You will be ok, I promise. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. Maybe it's a serious wake up call. It was for me. Good luck x And Grice, I can't believe you're 25. You are a brilliant person.
Yes millie i second that and doing a law degree seems fitting
 
Thanks everyone for the kind words. It really brightened up my week. It's amazing how this forum can bring people who have made a terrible mistake together and help them to move forward. However, I really wouldn't like to highjack the post from OP, I was giving my experience to show them that when you're at the bottom you can't see up but there's a whole world out there for them.

@Mazdag I'm not sure if you have come back and looked at the forum, perhaps mentioning your username will trigger an email notification to you. How are you feeling today?
 
Hello all,

thank you all for your replies and yes I have been getting back to a routine as per everyone’s advise (apart from shaving as I’m trying to grow a beard ;) ), much like grice96 I also study law at university, and it is amazing to hear your story so well done, it’s so good of you also for sticking around here and helping talk to people, it’s insane how similar positions everyone here is, even though I have been inside trapped in my thoughts for the past couple months it’s still insane how fast time goes by. I think another reason I became so disheartened lately is because a lot of my personality was based on being a petrol head, I absolutely loved working on cars ( I even took apart the whole front end of my car outside of my uni accommodation and the look of shock on my flat mates faces when they saw was priceless) after the conviction I took not being able to drive very hard, I went from not even being able to stop my self from fiddling with a car to not even being able to look at them, I felt like a footballer who had just lost his legs. Whenever my dad asked for me to do work on a car that came in to the garage, although it sounds pathetic now I felt heartbroken. However now I’ve started to stop punishing myself. I’m back in the gym and trying to keep myself busy doing small tasks here and there, I think this has helped a lot because after everything that happened I felt scared, empty, incomplete and vulnerable, and although I had my anxiety before I never remembered a time that I felt I was weak like I did. I’m sure there must be a lot of people who have fell down hard like us but still managed to pull it back, so I guess I really just have to keep telling myself it’s a part of the game and keep pushing forward. It’s hard when you loose so much so quickly so I admit most mornings it is very difficult to find the ability to get out of bed, but one thing I’m thankful for is I finally feel better during the day, and I’m starting to find a way out of the dark hole. Again I’m thankful for all of your advice it really has started to lift my spirits up, hopefully prayers for brighter days won’t go ignored :)
 
Thanks everyone for the kind words. It really brightened up my week. It's amazing how this forum can bring people who have made a terrible mistake together and help them to move forward. However, I really wouldn't like to highjack the post from OP, I was giving my experience to show them that when you're at the bottom you can't see up but there's a whole world out there for them.

@Mazdag I'm not sure if you have come back and looked at the forum, perhaps mentioning your username will trigger an email notification to you. How are you feeling today?
And apologies for not replying in a while, i in fact had no idea anyone had replied to the thread, I’m very grateful , I didn’t think people would actually care to help! :)
 
Hello all,

thank you all for your replies and yes I have been getting back to a routine as per everyone’s advise (apart from shaving as I’m trying to grow a beard ;) ), much like grice96 I also study law at university, and it is amazing to hear your story so well done, it’s so good of you also for sticking around here and helping talk to people, it’s insane how similar positions everyone here is, even though I have been inside trapped in my thoughts for the past couple months it’s still insane how fast time goes by. I think another reason I became so disheartened lately is because a lot of my personality was based on being a petrol head, I absolutely loved working on cars ( I even took apart the whole front end of my car outside of my uni accommodation and the look of shock on my flat mates faces when they saw was priceless) after the conviction I took not being able to drive very hard, I went from not even being able to stop my self from fiddling with a car to not even being able to look at them, I felt like a footballer who had just lost his legs. Whenever my dad asked for me to do work on a car that came in to the garage, although it sounds pathetic now I felt heartbroken. However now I’ve started to stop punishing myself. I’m back in the gym and trying to keep myself busy doing small tasks here and there, I think this has helped a lot because after everything that happened I felt scared, empty, incomplete and vulnerable, and although I had my anxiety before I never remembered a time that I felt I was weak like I did. I’m sure there must be a lot of people who have fell down hard like us but still managed to pull it back, so I guess I really just have to keep telling myself it’s a part of the game and keep pushing forward. It’s hard when you loose so much so quickly so I admit most mornings it is very difficult to find the ability to get out of bed, but one thing I’m thankful for is I finally feel better during the day, and I’m starting to find a way out of the dark hole. Again I’m thankful for all of your advice it really has started to lift my spirits up, hopefully prayers for brighter days won’t go ignored :)
Keep your chin up Maz. Nine years since my ban and i finally got my licence back in the past week so light at the end of the tunnel.
 
Hey all, i was convicted of drink driving over a month ago and given a 20 month ban having a reading of 107. I’m 20 years old and I’ve suffered from crippling depression for a while. This is the first time I’ve ever drink drove and truth be told it was actually a attempt on my life when I purposely flipped my car. I had just been given antidepressants to use which had started to make me feel way worse. I’m so lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore. I lost my girlfriend a month before the incident, I was slipping deeper into the darkness which I could never pull out of, all interests i once had I no longer have any motivation, I just finished my community service and I’m taking a year away from uni to do a 6 month electrician course, but in all honesty I just lay in bed lately and my heart breaks over and over.

Hi mate. I was in a similar situation to you, 22 at the time, recently broke up with my girlfriend and after the crash felt like my life was over. I had crippling anxiety and had never felt so isolated.
I know how it feels but trust me keep on persevering. Put it behind you and focus on things that make you happy and fufilled, be that gym, hobbies, work, seeing friends, family… whatever that may be. It might seem a chore at first but get the momentum going, get yourself back into a routine and soon your headspace will improve, you will blink and the ban will be over.

There’s a few apps (Calm, Headspace) that are very good for meditating and helped give me some mental clarity when I was in the thick of it. Didn’t think it would be my thing at first but it certainly helped.

Almost 2 years since my crash and my life has greatly improved, and yours will too if you give it time. Always here for a chat if you ever need it.
 
Glad to hear you are starting to see the brighter view Mazdag. Keep that positive attitude and I'm sure you will be just fine.
 
Congratulations @Mazdag, a great day.

You see, you managed to get though it. Well done.

Enjoy being back on the road !
thanks gill!

i wouldn’t say i’m on the road just yet, have you seen the insurance prices?! and we’re the ones labelled criminals!
 
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