Pre-ban worry

grgi4dxniel

Member
Hi,
So I’m new here. I was caught driving over the prescribed limit of cocaine and ketamine in January. I need to stress these were tiny amounts consumed earlier in the day, I would not have got behind that wheel if I thought or felt like a risk, I just didn’t think of the implications of it being in my system. After a horrible wait, I found out Friday I will be convicted next month, ironically on the same date as an interview for my first choice uni. I am absolutely devastated and so ashamed of myself, I can’t bring myself to tell my parents yet and every time I remember what is happening I feel like I’m being punched in the face. I work in a job where I will have to declare this, I am hopeful they will be understanding, however, I’m physically sick with anxiety about the thought I maybe rejected from my university choices? I just don’t know how I could be so stupid. Forget a ban, the emotions attached to the situation are punishment enough. The car I can deal without, my future however, I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with so well if worst comes to the worst. Guess I’m just hoping for any positive experiences anyone has had? That life isn’t totally over?

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Over

Member
As with all of us who have been caught in this situation, there is no sympathy. You're life isn't over but don't self pity. Make a post that you ****ed up. there's no difference between having a few pints and snorting drugs off a toilet lid, well there is but I'm not going in to that. You don't go in to what happened that night, Suck it up, get on with, we all had to.
 

DonkeyKong

Well-known member
Your life isn’t over mate. It isn’t going to be easy though. Tell your parents - you need the support, and they will support you if you have a good relationship. One person - my once best friend ironically, won’t engage with me now. Absolutely *everyone else* ... supports me - my wife, parents, kids, in laws... everybody. Obviously, no-one is proud, but they all know, and they all help me get through this. Tell the people you care about, but don’t tell the people who don’t need to know. I am half way through a 2 year ban. My last employer never even knew I was banned for 11 months... I used public transport, lifts from friends and expensive chauffeurs to be where I needed to be. I start my new job tomorrow, and they know I am a DR10 and won’t be driving until 2020. The HR lady said “ooh, you’ve been a naughty boy, but haven’t we all” I’ve done court, community service, fines, inane driving awareness courses, RAR days... and all of them were shit. But all of them are in the past. I owe nobody anything now, so it’s just a waiting game. You’ll bounce back I promise you.
 
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Woozle47

Active member
With you saying you are going to UNI - indicates you are young, late teens early 20's? You've made a horrendous error of judgement but bear in mind time's on your side. Although you feel life has dealt you a blow to the balls - keep to the fact you've f@@@ed up and can come through this. You say you will have to declare this - then declare it - but tell your parents first. Believe me, them finding out 2nd hand or through a nosy neighbour (there's a chance your case will appear in the local rag) is a lack of respect for them, tough - but factual. As DonkeyKong said, some of your friends will disappear but the majority will stick by you if you're honest. Good luck
 

sam9001

Well-known member
I'm 21 months into a 30 month ban, and like people have said previously, if you have a good relationship with people they will help you.

My dad takes me to work and brings me home every afternoon, which I know he doesnt have to do.... so dont put yourself down mate.
 

Woozle47

Active member
I'm 21 months into a 30 month ban, and like people have said previously, if you have a good relationship with people they will help you.

My dad takes me to work and brings me home every afternoon, which I know he doesnt have to do.... so dont put yourself down mate.
Massive shout to your Dad for helping you. That's what people who care about you do. I'm eternally grateful for my family & friends sticking by me through my mistake.
 

grgi4dxniel

Member
As with all of us who have been caught in this situation, there is no sympathy. You're life isn't over but don't self pity. Make a post that you ****ed up. there's no difference between having a few pints and snorting drugs off a toilet lid, well there is but I'm not going in to that. You don't go in to what happened that night, Suck it up, get on with, we all had to.
I want to suck it up and get on with it. I can absolutely deal with losing my car, but I have to declare it to both of my jobs where I'll have to give an account and go over it at 3 separate university admission panels. Literally have to relive it every single day and go in to every detail about it. Not even self pity, it's pure self hate at the moment.
 

grgi4dxniel

Member
Your life isn’t over mate. It isn’t going to be easy though. Tell your parents - you need the support, and they will support you if you have a good relationship. One person - my once best friend ironically, won’t engage with me now. Absolutely *everyone else* ... supports me - my wife, parents, kids, in laws... everybody. Obviously, no-one is proud, but they all know, and they all help me get through this. Tell the people you care about, but don’t tell the people who don’t need to know. I am half way through a 2 year ban. My last employer never even knew I was banned for 11 months... I used public transport, lifts from friends and expensive chauffeurs to be where I needed to be. I start my new job tomorrow, and they know I am a DR10 and won’t be driving until 2020. The HR lady said “ooh, you’ve been a naughty boy, but haven’t we all” I’ve done court, community service, fines, inane driving awareness courses, RAR days... and all of them were shit. But all of them are in the past. I owe nobody anything now, so it’s just a waiting game. You’ll bounce back I promise you.
Thanks mate, needed to hear that really. I know life isn't over, it's got the potential to have a massive impact on my life for a long time though! Glad you've got the support, my friends have been incredibly supportive, still haven't told my dad! I hope you're right, one of my employers have been fine, I have to tell them, thing is I'll have to declare it every job I have for the rest of my life. I've fully messed up :cautious:
 

grgi4dxniel

Member
With you saying you are going to UNI - indicates you are young, late teens early 20's? You've made a horrendous error of judgement but bear in mind time's on your side. Although you feel life has dealt you a blow to the balls - keep to the fact you've f@@@ed up and can come through this. You say you will have to declare this - then declare it - but tell your parents first. Believe me, them finding out 2nd hand or through a nosy neighbour (there's a chance your case will appear in the local rag) is a lack of respect for them, tough - but factual. As DonkeyKong said, some of your friends will disappear but the majority will stick by you if you're honest. Good luck
Yeah, I'm 22. Worked so hard to get where I am now though and the thought of losing it all for being such an idiot is shattering. Yep, fully f***** up. I'll tell them before my court date, I want to wait and see whether my application is rejected first, might soften the blow if I've I still have my uni place!
 

Medicine Man

Well-known member
Although it seems like your world has collapsed around you and opportunities feel like they are steadily getting further and further away, keep your head up and deal with it; seems a bit harsh, but all of us on here have either been through it or are going through it. The best thing to do now if just to block it out (it gets easier as time goes on), and figure out ways of getting around. As you said you’ll be going to university, assuming this is in a city, then you won’t even need a car as public transport is actually fairly reliable providing you plan ahead (and it’ll save you money from insurance/parking permits). When I was serving my ban, I had never used a bus timetable before and had to figure it out (I actually had some pretty cool adventures getting to places on local bus routes), but this will actually help you out in the long run - the mental planning skills you learn can be useful in life! Granted, if people find out about the fact you have been disqualified, they will be quick to judge, but it happens to the best of us and everyone is one wrong turn away from being in the same situation as yourself! People forget about these things and move on as time goes on so keep your chin up, keep calm and carry on :)
 

grgi4dxniel

Member
Although it seems like your world has collapsed around you and opportunities feel like they are steadily getting further and further away, keep your head up and deal with it; seems a bit harsh, but all of us on here have either been through it or are going through it. The best thing to do now if just to block it out (it gets easier as time goes on), and figure out ways of getting around. As you said you’ll be going to university, assuming this is in a city, then you won’t even need a car as public transport is actually fairly reliable providing you plan ahead (and it’ll save you money from insurance/parking permits). When I was serving my ban, I had never used a bus timetable before and had to figure it out (I actually had some pretty cool adventures getting to places on local bus routes), but this will actually help you out in the long run - the mental planning skills you learn can be useful in life! Granted, if people find out about the fact you have been disqualified, they will be quick to judge, but it happens to the best of us and everyone is one wrong turn away from being in the same situation as yourself! People forget about these things and move on as time goes on so keep your chin up, keep calm and carry on :)
Hey, thank you! I’m dealing with it a lot better. I really don’t care all that much about my car, they can take my licence! I wouldn’t have have kept my car at university anyway, my concern is not getting into uni because of the conviction. As long as I get into uni Andy haven’t ruined my career, the ban i’ll be able to deal with. I don’t lose my licence until the 17th and I’m already walking and getting buses as driving just makes me feel guilty.
 

Medicine Man

Well-known member
Hey, thank you! I’m dealing with it a lot better. I really don’t care all that much about my car, they can take my licence! I wouldn’t have have kept my car at university anyway, my concern is not getting into uni because of the conviction. As long as I get into uni Andy haven’t ruined my career, the ban i’ll be able to deal with. I don’t lose my licence until the 17th and I’m already walking and getting buses as driving just makes me feel guilty.
No problems! The guilt is horrible to live with but the last half of your ban will fly by - I still have thoughts about where I could have been, but am reminded of where I am now and what I have, not what I haven’t got. Invest in a bike for uni and those horrible thoughts will quickly leave your head!

If you’re worried about not getting into university, I was about a third of the way through my (second) ban when I was accepted onto a Master’s Degree - I had to declare my convictions as both of them weren’t unspent at the time which basically consisted of filling in a form which was absorbed into the university admissions department never to be heard from again! Honestly though, the admissions department will be hard-pressed to deny your application based on a sole criminal conviction (if you were a serial killer with a history of child molestation then it might be a different story) and they look at your character as a whole and more at what your school grades are etc. What course have you applied for?
 
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grgi4dxniel

Member
No problems! The guilt is horrible to live with but the last half of your ban will fly by - I still have thoughts about where I could have been, but am reminded of where I am now and what I have, not what I haven’t got. Invest in a bike for uni and those horrible thoughts will quickly leave your head!

If you’re worried about not getting into university, I was about a third of the way through my (second) ban when I was accepted onto a Master’s Degree - I had to declare my convictions as both of them weren’t unspent at the time which basically consisted of filling in a form which was absorbed into the university admissions department never to be heard from again! Honestly though, the admissions department will be hard-pressed to deny your application based on a sole criminal conviction (if you were a serial killer with a history of child molestation then it might be a different story) and they look at your character as a whole and more at what your school grades are etc. What course have you applied for?
Yeah the first few weeks was torture! By the time I lose my licence it will have been 3 months since I was caught, it’s this being in limbo bit that I don’t like, rather my ban had started that night to get it over with!

I hope not! I already have two offers. I’ve applied for an integrated degree in nursing and social work. I wrote a 2500 word self-disclosure so I’m hoping my character is reflected in that 😂 oh really? That gives me some hope. What did you do at uni?
 

grgi4dxniel

Member
I’ve never felt so disappointed with myself. Had my uni offer withdrawn...’too serious and too soon’ apparently. That reads to me like ‘discrimination because there was drugs involved’. I’m seen as a threat to vulnerable people or like I’m of bad character? There was no thank you taking your time to provide us with a 2500 word self-disclosure, no sorry that you’ve ruined your career, no reassurance that I was of good character and it was simply too recent. Literally just made to feel like an absolute criminal. Worst part is I can’t reapply for 2 years...my ban won’t even be that long. Suppose I do deserve it.
 
I would have to say I completely understand the decision to revoke your offer, it's not discrimination at all, you were convicted of quite a serious offence classified as a drug offence with pretty hard drugs. Working as a nurse or social worker means you would simply be too great a risk working with people who are perhaps dependent on drugs or you yourself have access to medication and drugs given you're to be convicted this year, even if you only took these drugs once on an application it looks like you have a drug problem and that's very serious and risky. I'm sure you will turn your life around but you need to seriously consider whether you will ever be able to gain employment in this field, important to bare in mind getting onto a uni course and gaining employment are different things. I personally feel there is a possibility a few years down the line after your conviction has become spent and you can prove you've turned your life around and done useful advantageous things to your career eg volunteering etc. (I would say you really need to think about things like that to prove in a few years how much you've changed, you're application will always be at somewhat of a disadvantage so make up for it, do so many things they will go wow what a change) during now and that time when you apply again, however speak to someone in the field I'm not an expert. There won't be any reassurance or 'thank you so much for applying' either, you are a criminal, I am a criminal, everyone here is (at least until our convictions become spent) and unfortunately there will be people who will treat you differently and not give you a second chance, I hate the label and would never describe myself as such but I think it's important everybody bares that in mind, if nothing else it gives us humility and helps us learn our lesson. I was a student when I was convicted and it meant I had to completely change my career specialism because of it, biggest regret but that's the reality now unfortunately and I've got over it and am really happy with where life is going at the minute. Some people will give you a second chance, some won't, people will be understanding given your age, this won't define you and in a few years it will all be in the past and you will have moved on. Something you read over and over again on here is people posting after their experience is over saying how much better it gets and I believe that. Also stop taking gear, doesn't matter whether you drive or not your life will improve if you kick that habit in. I hope that doesn't sound harsh or condescending or unsympathetic, I remember being in the exact same position a few years ago as you now, it's a horrible feeling, but someone gave me the same sort of advice when I got banned, don't feel sorry for yourself or expect sympathy, go out and make the life you want to have.
I wish you all the best for the future, it does get better.
 

TipsyNurse

Well-known member
You probably need to get expert advice. I don't know what career you intend to pursue but working as a nurse any drink or drugs convictions are problematic.

The university withdrawing their offer isn't anything personal. They are obsessed about students employed after six months and anyone seen as a risk gets caught.

Seek help from a drugs charity - you don't have a drugs problem but you do need their advice on this. They will have encountered this thousands of times and know what procedure to follow.

Good luck either way. We all make mistakes, some of us are caught, some aren't. Just the way of the world. You will look back on this in ten years and see it shaped your life, and anything that shapes your life, even negative, causes you to grow as a person.
 

grgi4dxniel

Member
You probably need to get expert advice. I don't know what career you intend to pursue but working as a nurse any drink or drugs convictions are problematic.

The university withdrawing their offer isn't anything personal. They are obsessed about students employed after six months and anyone seen as a risk gets caught.

Seek help from a drugs charity - you don't have a drugs problem but you do need their advice on this. They will have encountered this thousands of times and know what procedure to follow.

Good luck either way. We all make mistakes, some of us are caught, some aren't. Just the way of the world. You will look back on this in ten years and see it shaped your life, and anything that shapes your life, even negative, causes you to grow as a person.
Thanks ornament your reply! I understand, the university has come to an arrangement with me anyway, although it still won’t see me admitted this year. I understand their reasoning. I already work in this environment andI felt that may give me an advantage as I could prove my usual good character and that I’m not a risk to any vulnerable people. I did have a short substance misuse problem early last year as a result of the end of a DV relationship but refrained from driving throughout that period (also of course didn’t work until I was safe to do so)! This was the first time I’d used since I was discharged from the service supporting me, I’ve sought advice from them and a letter of support!
You’re right though, I already see it’s shaped me...completely changed my attitude toward drugs and it’s put everything back into perspective for me. Just a shame it’s postponed all my hard work. Yeah, some people get caught and some don’t. That was one of my arguments, that statistically I’m now less likely to drive under the influence than any other person they admit! Such is life though 🤷‍♀️

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