Davyatsea
Member
Apologies for the time of this thread - I'm writing this during the latter stages of night shift.
My wife was convicted back in September 2019, went through the process of being banned, receiving the awareness course and eventually getting back on the road some 11 months later. She has had several wobbles since then, admits at times there is an issue, but doesn't seem able to move forward in all honesty.
I tried several approaches to help her, but admittedly, may have come across overly hard at times when she has drunk on a school night, expecting to drive the following day. I've tried hiding her car keys, forcing the issue, but nothing is changing. She regularly drinks two bottles on certain nights, and expects to drive the following day, despite knowing she will still be over the limit. I have posted similarly before, and have appreciated the help given on my last posts.
Currently, she is struggling with family dynamics, in that her own family discount anything she says to them. Her mum is pretty much a confirmed narcissist and her dad and sister are in their own little words. Her own family do not know the extent of her alcohol abuse and did not support when she was arrested and later convicted. We have two children, both autistic, and my wife also received her own adult diagnosis of autism a year ago. She is also receiving specialist psychotherapy support on a weekly basis. Her work takes a lot out of her mentally, and she is not interested in pursuing any other outside interests. If I try and suggest anything to her, I am accused of nagging - and she will make her own choice.
This week, I know some bills have not been paid, but yet, she was able to use paypal to obtain two bottles of prosecco from Getir. Without being absolutely sure, I know she was drinking beyond 11pm, expecting to drive this morning around 8:30am. I will be asleep after night shift, so cannot control (nor do I wish to) how she gets to work. I do not want to say anything, as to be fair, I know I am tired from being up all night, but this is on my mind. I love her dearly and want to support, but this is impacting my mental health and I feel it is now putting our marriage at risk. I'm not saying for a minute, I want divorce now, but I am running out of options. I have also mentioned this before. She has said herself that it might be better if she was in a flat by herself, but I feel, it doesn't solve her problems - more running away from her supportive husband and loving children.
Apologies if I have gone on a bit, but I needed somewhere supportive for advice. I'm due to finish work in an hour or so, then home to bed. I admit though, that I am often nervous about coming home as I do not know what state she will be in. Only back end of last year, she had drunk prosecco one evening (at least three bottles), drove to work with the intention of sleeping in the car and waking up ready to start work the following day. She had left kids at home, and I had to go and find her - goodness knows how she got there without being caught, or worse still, injuring or killing herself or someone else! Thankfully she hasn't done that since, but still thinks she wont get caught driving the morning after.
If you have got this far, many thanks for reading. This has been on my mind all through my work shift.
My wife was convicted back in September 2019, went through the process of being banned, receiving the awareness course and eventually getting back on the road some 11 months later. She has had several wobbles since then, admits at times there is an issue, but doesn't seem able to move forward in all honesty.
I tried several approaches to help her, but admittedly, may have come across overly hard at times when she has drunk on a school night, expecting to drive the following day. I've tried hiding her car keys, forcing the issue, but nothing is changing. She regularly drinks two bottles on certain nights, and expects to drive the following day, despite knowing she will still be over the limit. I have posted similarly before, and have appreciated the help given on my last posts.
Currently, she is struggling with family dynamics, in that her own family discount anything she says to them. Her mum is pretty much a confirmed narcissist and her dad and sister are in their own little words. Her own family do not know the extent of her alcohol abuse and did not support when she was arrested and later convicted. We have two children, both autistic, and my wife also received her own adult diagnosis of autism a year ago. She is also receiving specialist psychotherapy support on a weekly basis. Her work takes a lot out of her mentally, and she is not interested in pursuing any other outside interests. If I try and suggest anything to her, I am accused of nagging - and she will make her own choice.
This week, I know some bills have not been paid, but yet, she was able to use paypal to obtain two bottles of prosecco from Getir. Without being absolutely sure, I know she was drinking beyond 11pm, expecting to drive this morning around 8:30am. I will be asleep after night shift, so cannot control (nor do I wish to) how she gets to work. I do not want to say anything, as to be fair, I know I am tired from being up all night, but this is on my mind. I love her dearly and want to support, but this is impacting my mental health and I feel it is now putting our marriage at risk. I'm not saying for a minute, I want divorce now, but I am running out of options. I have also mentioned this before. She has said herself that it might be better if she was in a flat by herself, but I feel, it doesn't solve her problems - more running away from her supportive husband and loving children.
Apologies if I have gone on a bit, but I needed somewhere supportive for advice. I'm due to finish work in an hour or so, then home to bed. I admit though, that I am often nervous about coming home as I do not know what state she will be in. Only back end of last year, she had drunk prosecco one evening (at least three bottles), drove to work with the intention of sleeping in the car and waking up ready to start work the following day. She had left kids at home, and I had to go and find her - goodness knows how she got there without being caught, or worse still, injuring or killing herself or someone else! Thankfully she hasn't done that since, but still thinks she wont get caught driving the morning after.
If you have got this far, many thanks for reading. This has been on my mind all through my work shift.