Moving on from drink driving again..

[03matchs]

Good morning all,

I felt quite compelled to share my story on here after having reflected on my 2nd drink driving conviction within 10 years. To be clear I want to share this story as a part of me being able to accept and move on from these events and I hope me sharing my story will encourage other that whilst doing this is a huge mistake, we all feel guilt, we have all felt shame and most importantly, your life will go on after this.

So here goes...


This is my second offence within 10 years. My first was 9 years ago and I made a stupid mistake as a teenager and I said never again...
well it did happen again albeit under very different circumstance. I want to be clear that I accept full responsibility for my actions and that I should not have done it and nobody should ever.

My second time happened in March and my court date was in August. 5 month of mental torture ensued as I had to think about the prospect of what might happen and taking into account a high reading. Nothing prepares you for the that time and it is a lonely place. During this time I front up against some personal mental health challenges which I refused to deal with before. What I’ve learnt is that something good always comes from a bad situation in whatever kind of guise. I faced it head on, told my family and got the support I needed.

I faced the court in August and through whatever forces that be, got a favourable result taking into consideration what it might have been.

I’m now a month into my ban and life is different but I’m managing.

I want to give a message of hope to you all whatever your circumstances and for whatever reason you decided to drink and drive. Yes what we have done is not right and against the law. But what we are not is permanent victims. I’ve had to let myself believe and accept I am a good person, a kind and understanding person that made a mistake. That is so important.

Deal with the consequences with dignity, don’t let anyone put you in a box and label you. The only person who can benefit from this is you and I say that because you have the understand and power to change. Nobody can take that away.

Be honest with why you did it in the first place. Recognise that you are lucky to be alive and that fingers crossed nobody got hurt. They are facts.

My journey started again a month ago and I want to be open and honest with dealing with it.

I hope this messages helps whoever reads it and I’m happy to speak on this forum with anyone who is struggling to deal with what they are going through.


Matchsa

 

[Luckytobehere]

Good morning all,

I felt quite compelled to share my story on here after having reflected on my 2nd drink driving conviction within 10 years. To be clear I want to share this story as a part of me being able to accept and move on from these events and I hope me sharing my story will encourage other that whilst doing this is a huge mistake, we all feel guilt, we have all felt shame and most importantly, your life will go on after this.

So here goes...


This is my second offence within 10 years. My first was 9 years ago and I made a stupid mistake as a teenager and I said never again...
well it did happen again albeit under very different circumstance. I want to be clear that I accept full responsibility for my actions and that I should not have done it and nobody should ever.

My second time happened in March and my court date was in August. 5 month of mental torture ensued as I had to think about the prospect of what might happen and taking into account a high reading. Nothing prepares you for the that time and it is a lonely place. During this time I front up against some personal mental health challenges which I refused to deal with before. What I’ve learnt is that something good always comes from a bad situation in whatever kind of guise. I faced it head on, told my family and got the support I needed.

I faced the court in August and through whatever forces that be, got a favourable result taking into consideration what it might have been.

I’m now a month into my ban and life is different but I’m managing.

I want to give a message of hope to you all whatever your circumstances and for whatever reason you decided to drink and drive. Yes what we have done is not right and against the law. But what we are not is permanent victims. I’ve had to let myself believe and accept I am a good person, a kind and understanding person that made a mistake. That is so important.

Deal with the consequences with dignity, don’t let anyone put you in a box and label you. The only person who can benefit from this is you and I say that because you have the understand and power to change. Nobody can take that away.

Be honest with why you did it in the first place. Recognise that you are lucky to be alive and that fingers crossed nobody got hurt. They are facts.

My journey started again a month ago and I want to be open and honest with dealing with it.

I hope this messages helps whoever reads it and I’m happy to speak on this forum with anyone who is struggling to deal with what they are going through.


Matchsa

Great post which I’m upside many will resonate with. I didn’t tell anyone except my boss and immediate family. About my driving ban. My neighbours all think I’m waiting for knee surgery, my daughters school and just about anyone and everyone else who may have reason to wonder why I bought a brand new car and then stopped driving it a few weeks later (yup...true) have all been told similar. a year ago it was a plausible excuse. Approaching two years now and the old. Knee injury excuse has worn thin, I doubt anyone actually believes me, but I take the. View, it’s none of their business . I’ve been asked, point blank if I lost my licence and no, I didn’t. Own up and won’t either, I’ve found that people are more accepting of such an offence than I imagined and people talk about their own convictions with no shame. I never will be anything less than ashamed, But more than that.... I’m questioning. If I even want to drive again. my ban ended in August but I deliberately didn’t rush to apply again. one reason is that after being without a car 20 months, I really begrudge spending so much money just to drive again. I am adding. Up all the costs of getting my car road worthy after two years sitting idle plus road tax, INSURANCE, Breakdown cover , fuel every week , parking, etc and any of the Astronomical motoring costs and it’s eye watering. I know as have to suck it up, but I must say, the extra money I’ve had each week since being on a ban has been great. it’s been a struggle, but I adapted and only reasons now to drive would be. To get to Drs and Vets and school meetings etc. I work from home, and though it’s a pain in the butt not having the. Ability to get from A to B quickly, I manage. It’s amazing what you can do if you have no other choices. My main reply to your post isn’t going to make me popular but it’s how I feel. looking back, there were MANY times. I drove my car when J shouldn’t have . I took a risk with my own life, my passengers lives. And the lives of every other person on the road. I have such tremendous guilt about this . I could have killed someone. ALL of us could have killed someone yet no one talks about that., the elephant in the room. I don’t think a driving ban IS punishment enough for what we have done, or could have done. ..and since coming on here and reading posts from people who have had several bans, yet not still not dealt with the problems that cause them to drink , it’s clear the punishment is soon forgotten. indeed.... people post that they are STILL drinking the same as usual whilst on their ban, and even right up until the last few days before a DVLA medical exam. Posts asking if x or xx amount of time. Is enough to pass the. CDT test, clearly from those who don’t see drink driving as a problem unless you get caught. What I find the most frightening of all is that this forum is a small section of society . there must be literally. MILLIONS of people out on the roads , right now this very minute, too drunk to be in charge of a car. They could kill me, you,anyone who happens to Be in the wrong place at the wrong time, in a blink of an eye. Isn’t that scary???? As soon as. I was arrested it was as though the light came on.. I was in denial that my driving was anyone’s else’s business!!! it’s been the biggest wake up call of my life and I needed it. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since and never will. The thought of what COULD have happened terrifies me....... yet it took getting arrested for me to see sense. Another reason I’m in two minds about driving. it’s not how I drive, but how other road users drive that’s worries me. From my own personal selfishness and arrogance I know how easy it is to take risks. ..and from reading in here, there are some that have no remorse at all and will most likely do it gain. ..and again it seems.

 

[craig121]

Hi 03
My wife used to hide my car keys incase!! But that sorry episode was 10yrs ago

 

[C J 1980]

Morning,

I'm currently serving my first (and hopefully only ban!) having been convicted in February this year. My reading was 113 and I was banned for 28 months which has now been reduced to just over 21 months by doing my TTC drink drive awareness course in May. I should hopefully get my licence back just before Christmas next year (2020). I will have to do a medical as I am classed as a High Risk Offender but I've already made changes to my lifestyle and cut out alcohol.

Losing my licence has been a game changer and I had 150 hours community service to get through which I blitzed in three weeks. The probation people I dealt with were inept to say the least but fortunately I had very little contact with them and I was grateful enough to get a decent placement at a local community centre rather than going out in a chain gang with career criminals who don't give a shit about the law or going to prison. I even heard stories that some people on these chain gangs were doing drugs and stealing.

The drink driving conviction cost me my job as a courier which to be frank I was not happy in anyway so I forced my own hand by getting arrested and losing my licence. I've since had a very few difficult months finding another job which is not made easy with having to rely on public transport, riding a bike, walking or relying on family members for a lift. There's also the added measure of declaring it as a conviction in any job application.

In terms of people's attitudes towards me and drink driving in general I don't think it has made any difference and everyone has been sympathetic. I'm a great believer in that you should never judge the failings of others because you also have your own weaknesses. The only idiot I have crossed paths with who made some snide remark has been to prison himself for domestic violence, so really he has absolutely no right to judge anyone!!! There is a saying that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

The only people I would say have a right to be critical of drink drivers are people who have lost family members or loved ones because of drink driving. Luckily I don't know anyone who has been affected by death through drink driving and I'm thankful every day that my own stupidity didn't cause death, injury or inconvenience to any one else.

I think life does get better once the arrest, court case and even community service is all done and dusted. I hit rock bottom during the first couple of months but I'm now a bit more optimistic about the future and just taking everyday as it comes. I'm sure the experience of becoming a convicted drink driver definitely moulds us into better people and is another notch to our life skills and knowledge we can share with others. Just enjoy life and live day by day. Don't let criticism from others get to you because there are skeletons in many people's cupboards that they wouldn't admit to.

All the best and take care.

C J