Am I the only one who sees this as it is, or have I missed a meeting? A trainee Police officer, who could be arresting someone for drink driving and all that entails for that person, has themselves been convicted and worse, a colleague (another Police officer) lies, in some attempt to cover up the crime.
Sorry that you feel like you do, because no-one should feel suicidal, but do you not see the hypocrisy of the position? All the feelings you describe apply equally to many on this forum, who have/had jobs they loved and families to support etc.
I certainly do not want to compound your feelings, because you need to find a way forward, which looking on this thread I feel you may have discovered, but a lot of other people, who were not training to be in law enforcement, have been given some tough love on here.
I am not anti Police, because I was guilty as charged, but my conviction meant I lost my job instantly. The Police officer who arrested me was super nice to me and the custody sergeant said, not every one who stands infront of me is a criminal; and then offered me some leaflets that provided counselling and support. I was faced with the very real prospect of losing my home and not being able to support my family. That was my fault and I have faced this head on. The world is a better place with you in it, than not. You have a whole life to live.
Go to Uni, as it is a great experience and opens doors you can't imagine now, make your life the best it can be. You will always remember what happened and hopefully it makes you a better person in future. You can't change the past, but you can influence the future. I wish you well and there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, so go and embrace it.