Loneliness after conviction

Convicted Driver Insurance

Hds112

Member
I was convicted 1 month ago. When I was convicted I was training to be a police officer. I’ve lost my job, reputation and the respect of everyone I love or who loves me. I’m really struggling to find a way out of the hole I’ve put myself in, and have tried suicide. It obviously failed and I’ll never try to do it again, I just want to know how people came to terms with becoming a criminal
 

stu12341234

Well-known member
Hi,

I am here too listen! This forum is here to help. I know it has helped me so much. Do not give up. We all make mistakes.

Be safe.
 
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dymension

Member
Yeah what stu says... we've all been there and been in similar positions with family, relationships, jobs, embarrassment from being in the press, ashamed you did it as you could have hurt or killed someone. It's still probably early days for you but it will get better and you'll learn about yourself in the process. Those family members will come back. Friends will stick by you and if any don't... then let them go. Job wise there's lots of other things you can do. It's not the end of the world.

One thing I've learnt is people won't really be bothered by it, however you'll feel ashamed just now which is understandable.

Keep your head up (focus on getting through each day) and reclaim your life back. The future is what you make of it and take it one day at a time.
 

Reets

Well-known member
You made a mistake. You’re going to have to be really kind to yourself here. You are not alone. I also contemplated suicide (still struggle some days nearly 2 years later), it’s a life changer for some, others it’s like water off a ducks back.
You may be able to do similar training for a private agency or security work, online forensics. There will be opportunities just not the one you thought but time will heal and you don’t know what you’ll be doing in the future - don’t see it as an end of life excuse. Reading the news section of this forum also helps me when I’m bad. Not that I don’t deserve my punishment but I can’t grovel around forever banging my head against a wall and feeling like the scum of the earth. There is absolutely no support network that I’ve found aside from this forum and about 2 friends. I’ve lost friends and some relationships with family members will never be the same again.

Feel free to PM me 🤗
 

January

Well-known member
I am two years post arrest, coming up to two years court in November (I had to wait months to hear as blood results delayed) & back driving. I think looking back it is about small steps so some tips that helped me
A) one day at a time, plan short term
B) you will find out who true friends are
C) it becomes old news for most - I still have one set of local neighbours who treat me very differently but that’s it - tbh am I bothered !
D) find out what helps you - to me it was journaling writing everything down, writing letters that were never sent to people I wanted to say sorry to & also those who I had a hard time with - couple of friends who gave me a tough time but didn’t have energy to say how they made me feel. And to the awful Sargent at the police station who said I may go to prison - ( which I now know was incredibly unlikely) writing helped I later burned them all
E) a close friend gave me massive support - talking helped me
F) work were good added issue of professional investigation but once over all ok but I have moved to a low profile — I hit the press post court big style due to my job etc & we do a lot of thing that get in the media - not now I keep a low profile -
G) taken up new things - I guess a bit of reinvention I’m carful re what i say re my job etc if anyone asks me
But having a stock answer helps & if you fast ask people about themselves —
One thing I still do is focus on gratitude- the little things a Robin in the garden, a flower etc & trying to get outside for walks etc

Those who love you will still be there , those who are not true will vanish - good
Plan small things & see what other jobs you can do or some volunteer work
It’s one small mistake in life & you survive But don’t let it define you as I am sure if you make a list of all the positives they are bigger than DD
Walk tall
 

Hds112

Member
Thanks all for your replies, I feel like I’m struggling mainly because I’ll never be able to do what I wanted to do again based on my decision on that day! I’m 20 years old and everyone tells me there’s more to life but I guess at my age when you have one focus and it’s taken, it’s a little harder to deal with without life experience!
 

dymension

Member
I’m not a career advisor in anyway but there is nothing to stop you going to university and gaining a degree at any stage in your life or doing courses to develop your skills in other areas. Who knows what seems like closed doors just now might open back up in the future.

I’ve just got over the realisation that I won’t be able to go to Canada for 10 years. Ive never wanted to go to Canada but it seems worse when someone tells you that you can’t. A bit like banned for driving.

Give it time and re-evaluate. You are young and have a full life ahead of you.
 

RSC

Well-known member
Hi Hindsight is great but you can find yourself going round in ever decreasing circles thinking what if I hadn't , what if I had and so on. This place has/is a great help to me. I was so ashamed I didn't tell anybody - each to their own. Lastly and this applies to everybody - if you need to vent then people on here are receptive AND if everything seems too much, please do call the Samaritans 116 123 (I am one, despite my DD saga)
 

stu12341234

Well-known member
I was convicted 1 month ago. When I was convicted I was training to be a police officer. I’ve lost my job, reputation and the respect of everyone I love or who loves me. I’m really struggling to find a way out of the hole I’ve put myself in, and have tried suicide. It obviously failed and I’ll never try to do it again, I just want to know how people came to terms with becoming a criminal
Hi,

Keep your head up mate! May I ask under what circumstances how it happened. As in reading & event at the time.

I understand if you do not want to answer this. But feel free to PM if you would like too.

As I said earlier I am here too help, also a lot of people on this forum are excellent.

Be Safe.
 
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grice96

Well-known member
Thanks all for your replies, I feel like I’m struggling mainly because I’ll never be able to do what I wanted to do again based on my decision on that day! I’m 20 years old and everyone tells me there’s more to life but I guess at my age when you have one focus and it’s taken, it’s a little harder to deal with without life experience!
You aren’t banned from being a police officer for life mate. The only people outright banned are people convicted of fraud and violent offences, all other offences are on a case by case basis since 2016. If you can demonstrate that you were young and made a mistake and have turned things around since you may well be back in business.

I’m not a careers advisor either by any means and I don’t know your exam situation. But what I would do if I had my heart set on your career would be to do an access course in the social sciences route at a local college to get the A-Levels you need, an adult access course is 1 year and gains you 3 A-Levels. I would then go to university and undertake a degree in criminology. With a criminology degree the doors to so many more police careers opens up to you, you can also work in many fields relative to policing. With a criminology degree you can enter the police at detective level. Taking the time to go back to school, retrain, keep your head down and most importantly keeping your behaviour in check while doing so will strengthen your case for being considered for a policing role.
 

AndyJG

Well-known member
I was convicted 1 month ago. When I was convicted I was training to be a police officer. I’ve lost my job, reputation and the respect of everyone I love or who loves me. I’m really struggling to find a way out of the hole I’ve put myself in, and have tried suicide. It obviously failed and I’ll never try to do it again, I just want to know how people came to terms with becoming a criminal
Welcome to the only club,where you serve more than your original sentence......why should training as a police officer make you feel worse ???
 

djneilsmith98

Well-known member
Thanks all for your replies, I feel like I’m struggling mainly because I’ll never be able to do what I wanted to do again based on my decision on that day! I’m 20 years old and everyone tells me there’s more to life but I guess at my age when you have one focus and it’s taken, it’s a little harder to deal with without life experience!
once you've served your ban you will be able to apply to join the police again - https://www.joiningthepolice.co.uk/how-to-apply/whats-involved-in-the-vetting-process
you wouldn't be the only cop with a criminal recond https://metro.co.uk/2021/03/28/150-...ce-officers-are-convicted-criminals-14319599/
 

price1367

TTC Group
once you've served your ban you will be able to apply to join the police again - https://www.joiningthepolice.co.uk/how-to-apply/whats-involved-in-the-vetting-process
you wouldn't be the only cop with a criminal recond https://metro.co.uk/2021/03/28/150-...ce-officers-are-convicted-criminals-14319599/
The link you provided is interesting, but only serves to confirm the posters plight because the bar on joining the police extends for at least 10 years, not till the end of his ban:
“However, serious motoring offences do result in mandatory rejection. These include death by dangerous driving, hit and run, dangerous or drink driving offences within the last 10 years,”
 

Hobgoblin

Well-known member
I was convicted 1 month ago. When I was convicted I was training to be a police officer. I’ve lost my job, reputation and the respect of everyone I love or who loves me. I’m really struggling to find a way out of the hole I’ve put myself in, and have tried suicide. It obviously failed and I’ll never try to do it again, I just want to know how people came to terms with becoming a criminal
I don't consider myself a 'criminal', despite having a DD conviction from 1994. If you consider how many people who have gotten away with criminal acts (including politicians and 'celebrities'), not to mention members of Governments who invade other countries and kill millions of people for political popularity or oil, or who engage in genocide. Jimmy Saville was never convicted of anything, but many people consider him a criminal.

Just consider it a mistake you made.
 

jamesbrown1

Member
I don't consider myself a 'criminal', despite having a DD conviction from 1994. If you consider how many people who have gotten away with criminal acts (including politicians and 'celebrities'), not to mention members of Governments who invade other countries and kill millions of people for political popularity or oil, or who engage in genocide. Jimmy Saville was never convicted of anything, but many people consider him a criminal.

Just consider it a mistake you made.
Politicians??? surely not!!!

#MattHandcock4PM!
 

djneilsmith98

Well-known member
ndatory rejection. Th

The link you provided is interesting, but only serves to confirm the posters plight because the bar on joining the police extends for at least 10 years, not till the end of his ban:
“However, serious motoring offences do result in mandatory rejection. These include death by dangerous driving, hit and run, dangerous or drink driving offences within the last 10 years,”
apologies to the poster - I did not read the article carefully enough
 

AndyJG

Well-known member
Politicians??? surely not!!!

#MattHandcock4PM!
Future murderers.....pass the police checks......countless dd and other criminals pass the police checks.....I made a mistake,a VERY serious mistake....I fortunately never hurt anyone....I was done whilst making my mothers tea....despite repeated requests...I wasnt afforded a lawyer, or care for my mother...im afraid despite being absolutely guilty..and having to wait FAR longer than I should to not only serve my sentence...but possibly another 6 months to get my licence back......I have no love for the police or DVLA (sorry Price).....but I want my licence back....ive done my time................
 

stu12341234

Well-known member
Hi,

Price is a gem mate, what he shares is golden...and does it for nothing but a Thank You!.

The DVLA is so behind from what I can see, there is no changing that.

I hope you get your licence back asap.

Be Safe
 
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