Life is over

[Luna2000]

Thanks all.

my reading was 130. But I’m pending blood tests at the moment.

my life was starting to turn upward until this.

I really don’t feel there’s life after this.

Rm0892

Your life isn't over. Yes it's tough if you suffer depression to believe that, but I would imagine your drinking to this level was not a one off and alcohol is a classic depressant. So first off, cut back on the booze and try and get help to stay sober.

I've been on this merry go round twice since 2017. My latest ban ended on the 12th October and I'm still waiting to here about getting my licence back. (Applied, had the medical etc.)

My first ban was in 2017. I blew 124, so not far off you at 130. Received 20 month ban and £400 fine.

Second ban was in July 2019. This time I 'only' blew 96. 36 month ban and £400 with 15% reduction for the Awareness Course.

Up until 2012 I had been a happy, outgoing person. But problems and bullying at work led me to start drinking as a stress reliever. After only 2 years I became depressed, anxious and eventually a top up drunk.

Anyway, 4 years after my first conviction in 2017, I am still here, 2 years+ sober and hopefully will be mobile again fairly soon.

Forget driving for a few years. Put it out of your mind and don't dwell on it. I know it's frustrating, but it will soon be a reality. Get help with your alcohol problem. At least be honest with yourself about it.

I joined AA and haven't drank for 27 months.

Since I have been sober I've written a novel, I am part way through the second one and have gotten back into my photography in a big way. When I was drinking I did nothing. Well I caused pain and upset to those closest to me, to work colleagues, to friends and had to come up with excuses for not driving to satisfy the curious neighbours, but I have gotten through it and so will you.

 

[Woozle47]

You can survive this through patience and guidance. The advice and support on this forum is second to none. Listen to Price, Cj, Donkey & Luna. All they will give you is factual information. Listen to them, all they want to do is help you - so help youself by listening to them and you will get through it.

 

[Rm0892]

Hi Guys,

Im feeling very remorseful and a bit low tonight. Apologies I keep reaching out for support and words of kindness but I don’t really have much by way of anywhere else to turn.

I’m feeling very down about how I reacted to the situation when it first happened. I’m not drinking now. But still smoking 20 a day. Very worried/stressed and anxious about how things will be in the future with regards to my health, in all I’ve done over the past 6 weeks.

Did anyone else just feel like all the days merged into 1 and not much was meaningful any longer?

I really wish that the police had taken a breath sample from me instead of blood. At least court would’ve been over now and I’d be moving on.

my routine is completely up the left. And I’m finding it hard to live with myself and face up to the damage I’ve done to my body the past 6 weeks with all the smoking and the drinking I was doing when this happened. I know I’m only human and it’s a totally normal reaction to have in a way. But I feel my life would’ve and could’ve been so different and a lot happier had I not just done what I done. But reacted to it in the way I did.

Thanks for reading guys. I’m just at a low eb tonight,

Hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[RSC]

Hello and good evening

This forum has/is been/continues to be a helpful place for many of us so no need to apologise. Waiting for a court case can be so stressful.

(Watching the news right now about those MPs who may or may not have been pissed on their flight to Gibraltar. Hmm.)

 

[Rm0892]

Hello and good evening

This forum has/is been/continues to be a helpful place for many of us so no need to apologise. Waiting for a court case can be so stressful.

(Watching the news right now about those MPs who may or may not have been pissed on their flight to Gibraltar. Hmm.)

Yes it is helpful.

The wait is absolutely killing me.

But no choice in the matter really.

 

[price1367]

You have stopped the drinking, if 20 fags a day help you with your stress, keep smoking them.
They may affect your health long term, but adding to your stress now will not help you at all.
Make that a commitment for the day after your court case is finished……..

 

[C J 1980]

Rm

Life will start to get better post the conviction. I don't want to go over all ground telling you the same old story, but you will start to feel more optimistic in a few months from now and it is good you are not drinking at present.

CJ

 

[Rm0892]

Thanks folks,

appreciate the support and aware you’ve been over this with me before.

Just can’t wait for it to be over.

but I’m struggling with the guilt of what I’ve put my body through since everything. Don’t feel I’ll ever recover.

Just need to keep pushing through as best I can.

I wish the incident never happened. But I wish now I didn’t react to it the way I did.

Hope my health takes a good turn.

 

[price1367]

Try finding something to do that will make you feel good.
That can range from painting or drawing something to doing a good turn for an elderly neighbour.
It may help block out the bad feelings for a while at least.

 

[stu12341234]

Thanks folks,

appreciate the support and aware you’ve been over this with me before.

Just can’t wait for it to be over.

but I’m struggling with the guilt of what I’ve put my body through since everything. Don’t feel I’ll ever recover.

Just need to keep pushing through as best I can.

I wish the incident never happened. But I wish now I didn’t react to it the way I did.

Hope my health takes a good turn.

Hi,

You can recover, it is the mental part that can be overwhelming. The more you beat yourself up the harder it will be. Think of it as a "Blip" and a bad choice. Life is hard but DO NOT let this define who you really are mate.

Keep your head up!

Kind regards,




Stu

 

[Guygibson]

This is just a small chapter in your life and its a shit one there's alot more chapters to come in your life which will be good ones.
Just try to think this time in say 4yrs time you will be back on the road and all will be forgotten

 

[Rm0892]

Thanks again all,

It’s comforting to know there’s people here for support and advice.

I know this is just a small chapter in my life. But I really do hope the whole experience and the 3/4 weeks of madness after the incident havnt affected my health, body appearance etc too much.

I had anxiety about those things before which now I realise were unfounded. But looking back in the past 6 weeks has been tough for me in how much I seemed to have changed. I’m worn out. Look like crap, feel even worse,

Just gotta keep moving forward I guesss.

 

[Noangel25]

Thanks again all,

It’s comforting to know there’s people here for support and advice.

I know this is just a small chapter in my life. But I really do hope the whole experience and the 3/4 weeks of madness after the incident havnt affected my health, body appearance etc too much.

I had anxiety about those things before which now I realise were unfounded. But looking back in the past 6 weeks has been tough for me in how much I seemed to have changed. I’m worn out. Look like crap, feel even worse,

Just gotta keep moving forward I guesss.

RM I can relate to your feelings . I have myself experienced all that you are and I can assure you 200% it does and will get better .

Your body and mind will heal with a few changes to your lifestyle . What’s important is that you deal with things as and when they happen . The mind does wander and we can then create all sorts of negative thoughts and ideas that are beyond irrational.

What is causing your anxiety is he not knowing . The fear of the unknown is what we all struggle with as it’s out of our control.

You have to sit tight and await your results etc and go from there . Once thats done then your life will begin to lift. I promise you, you will kick yourself for putting yourself through it .

The body is a wonderful thing and repairs itself in ways we cannot comprehend. However for now just concentrate on staying positive and dealing with the sequence of events as it arrives .

 

[stu12341234]

Thanks again all,

It’s comforting to know there’s people here for support and advice.

I know this is just a small chapter in my life. But I really do hope the whole experience and the 3/4 weeks of madness after the incident havnt affected my health, body appearance etc too much.

I had anxiety about those things before which now I realise were unfounded. But looking back in the past 6 weeks has been tough for me in how much I seemed to have changed. I’m worn out. Look like crap, feel even worse,

Just gotta keep moving forward I guesss.

Hi,

You will feel like crap...that's a given. But it is not the end mate.

Kind regards,




Stu

 

[Rm0892]

Thanks guys,

mom already kicking myself for getting on how I’ve been getting on since it all.

I did have a lot of plans to move forward before this. After a particularly bad year. My mental health was improving and was financially free/stable etc.

I’ve had to take a loan out to pay my solicitor fees and money has been a bit tight since then as I’ve been spending silly money and silly things. But that’s something I need to get control of.

Everything is just hitting me all at once really.

Just need to straighten things out.

 

[Polly3]

Thanks guys,

mom already kicking myself for getting on how I’ve been getting on since it all.

I did have a lot of plans to move forward before this. After a particularly bad year. My mental health was improving and was financially free/stable etc.

I’ve had to take a loan out to pay my solicitor fees and money has been a bit tight since then as I’ve been spending silly money and silly things. But that’s something I need to get control of.

Everything is just hitting me all at once really.

Just need to straighten things out.

Why don’t you try to make a list as to how you are going to start to do this. This may help you feel you are getting some control .

 

[price1367]

Thanks guys,

mom already kicking myself for getting on how I’ve been getting on since it all.

I did have a lot of plans to move forward before this. After a particularly bad year. My mental health was improving and was financially free/stable etc.

I’ve had to take a loan out to pay my solicitor fees and money has been a bit tight since then as I’ve been spending silly money and silly things. But that’s something I need to get control of.

Everything is just hitting me all at once really.

Just need to straighten things out.

How much are you paying for the solicitor?

 

[Rm0892]

How much are you paying for the solicitor?

I’ve paid them 1200 already but need to pay another 1200 before the hearing.

I went for specialist representation as I wanted the best mitigation I could get. Not sure if that was the right thing to do in hindsight at this stage.

I doubt I’d get a refund now as I instructed them back in October.

 

[price1367]

Oh dear, there is not really such a thing as ‘specialist mitigation’….. there is mitigation, applies to any offence and any half decent solicitor can do it.
Even the solicitor on here, who is certainly a drink driving specialist, only charges £1000 for mitigation.
Try asking any local solicitor if they will do mitigation for you for £3-400 and if they can, cut your losses and dump the high priced one.

 

[Noangel25]

I’ve paid them 1200 already but need to pay another 1200 before the hearing.

I went for specialist representation as I wanted the best mitigation I could get. Not sure if that was the right thing to do in hindsight at this stage.

I doubt I’d get a refund now as I instructed them back in October.

That seems a lot of money for such a straightforward process . And also a lot of ‘cods wallop’ wording from the legal company! ….