Not something i could bring myself to share with others AA but i did have one to one counselling which was a massive help.
The thing about AA is that you are under absolutely no pressure to share your story or problems with anyone else at the meeting. You can turn up, sit at the back, listen, and leave without talking to a single person if that is what you want to do.
Like you I also had counselling, but in my case I did not feel I gained any benefit from it. But we are all different and respond in different ways to a variety of situations. I found more benefit listening (and eventually talking to,) people that had gone and were going through the same struggles as myself.
Did I want to go to AA - no. Did I want to admit that I was powerless over alcohol - no. But with 2 DUI's in as many years, I realised that my life was beginning to spiral out of control purely because I had allowed alcohol to dominate my life.
I went along to my first meeting thinking I would be totally alone, would not know anyone and that no one else had ever gone through what I had. Yeh, right.
The very first person that walked over and shook my hand called me by my first name, said he was glad to see me and sat with me as I shook and rattled for the 2 hours of the meeting. I had known this person for years and had no idea has was an Alcoholic.
Since then I have met numerous people I know, some from my childhood, some from the same village I grew up in, some from my church, some I have met through work.
Is it embarrassing at first? Yes. Is it comforting to know that some of your acquaintances also have the same problems that you do? Yes.
Plus, you do not need to be an Alcoholic to attend meetings. All you need is a desire to cut down and/or control your drinking.
Sorry if I make AA sound like a miracle cure. It is if it works for you, but in your case you might also find the continued counselling will be of benefit.
And remember, it is called Anonymous for that reason. Even the Zoom meetings we are all having at present are anonymous as you can simply sit and listen with both your Camera and Microphone switched off.
If AndyJG wants to keep his licence when he gets it back then he will need to admit he has a problem and actively do something about it, especially as he is drinking every day. I discovered that the hard way after losing mine twice in 2 years. Well, what did I expect drinking between 3/4 and a full bottle of vodka every day (except when my system rebelled.)
However only he can decide if he has a problem. He can't be forced, bullied or pleaded with, it really does need to come from within.
Sorry about the ramble and I hope it does not sound too much like preaching.
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