It is good in that it is succinct and is falling on sword.
Personally I would split the apologies - apologise for the risk you placed other road users at, and apologise for wasting the time of the court and police.
Also to me the bit about shame and hardship doesnt really quite chime with how you have come across on here. I would go more along the lines of "Since the incident I have struggled to come to terms with the terrible decisions I made that night. All I can say is that as a normally careful and conscientious driver I promise it will never, ever happen again, and I am completely mortified that it has even happened this once.". The court will be aware that a DD conviction will be embarrassing and cause you hardship, so you would be preaching to the choir on that front.
Also if you have made any changes to your driving - for instance that you will no longer drive to somewhere where you will be drinking - mention that too as it demonstrates you have made to ensure it won't happen again.
You can, if you wish, get up to three character statements from people with standing in the community - nurses, doctors, managers, vicars etc. - although as you are towards the lower end of sentencing these would not be essential. If you do get them take five copies of each, three for the magistrates, one for the clerk, and one for the prosecutor.
If it's not your nature to make that sort of personal statement don't do it, it has to sound genuine coming from you. But, the courts are used to seeing defendants either in a tracksuit not giving a toss, or having a solicitor reading out some sob story. IMO it always comes across much better if you turn up suited, booted and bloody nervous, not least because it shows you never want to go back again!