Court in three days

[Sundog]

I think - in time - if you engage with the right threads and/or posters with the most similar circumstances to your own, you’ll actually find the same as we all do in that this place is actually a massive source of comfort.

Yes, it’s true. Having a DUI conviction is not at all a fun place to be. But 99% of us here have been there and felt how you feel now.

And, with the help of others, a great many of us have learned from, dealt with; and fully redeemed the situation (and in many cases - particularly mine - its root cause).

And we’re a pretty friendly bunch also. You have really no need to be ashamed here.

 

[Mortifiedlady]

I go to court in three days on drink driving charge. Feeling suicidal. Half an hour on this forum makes me think I'd be better off ending it all.

Am in same position and it’s consuming me I can’t sleep or eat! I am terrified particularly ofmy name etc being in local press. It’s totally my doing but the humiliation is bad enough without everyone knowing. I will take my punishment and learn but really terrified it goes in the press

 

[topchippyles]

This is a friendly forum we all know what you are going through you really have come to the the right place for support and things will get easier i promise you.

 

[Sundog]

Am in same position and it’s consuming me I can’t sleep or eat! I am terrified particularly ofmy name etc being in local press. It’s totally my doing but the humiliation is bad enough without everyone knowing. I will take my punishment and learn but really terrified it goes in the press

I can fully understand why. I was fortunate as I never noticed I was, but of course I was nervous about the same thing. Even if I was and I haven’t seen, I don’t care much now anyway it was so long ago, and just about everyone knows now anyway (even people I work with overseas).

But we all get where you are now. No one wants the shame of that, and it feels unfair on top of the punishment and guilt we already feel.

But my lawyer (who said we’d try and avoid them, not sure if this was ever b/s or not reading back on here, and given that it’s a matter of public record anyway, but I think we did) from what I can recall kind of put it this way, and he was right about it:

a) who reads local rags anyway, especially that bit (I don’t);

b) whoever does, who knows you well and well enough for you to be ashamed about them knowing, will find out sooner or later through the natural course of the grapevine anyway. In which case, isn’t it all better out of the way, in two little lines of text; rather than prolonging the agony of who knows versus who doesn’t know (the length of the ban makes this a very tough crime to hide, and trust me seeing everyone over the next few months who may or may not know isn’t much easier anyway)?

c) what does it matter anyway. Stigma or not (and that’s what you’re most afraid of, being stigmatised), who is perfect? No one.

I know it’s all a massive shock right now, but - particularly during the early days - the shocks come and go and you roll with them. You could even be worrying about nothing at all. The impact of which even if I’m wrong will amount to (a little infamy aside)… nothing at all. Other than what people think. And they will have other things to think about than you, very soon after.

Tomorrow’s chip paper. And (with no disrespect!) far less of interest to most than the multitude of other Ukraine/Inflation/Macron/etc. crap they fill the news channels with above, and the ‘you’ll never believe where H from Steps is living now’ below.

Either way, you will be fine. F**k what people think. Time will work it’s magic whatever happens, days will come and go, and people will just stop really caring. It’s how you use that time to come back stronger that’s most important. We all get a second chance.

 

[Mortifiedlady]

I can fully understand why. I was fortunate as I never noticed I was, but of course I was nervous about the same thing. No one wants the shame of that, and it feels unfair on top of the punishment and guilt we already feel.

But my lawyer (who said we’d try and avoid them, not sure if this was ever b/s or not reading back on here, and given that it’s a matter of public record anyway, but we did) from what I can recall kind of put it this way, and he was right about it:

a) who reads local rags anyway, especially that bit (I don’t);

b) whoever does, who knows you well and well enough for you to be ashamed about them knowing, will find out sooner or later through the natural course of the grapevine anyway. In which case, isn’t it all better out of the way, in two little lines of text; rather than prolonging the agony of who knows versus who doesn’t know (the length of the ban makes this a very tough crime to hide, and trust me seeing everyone over the next few months who may or may not know isn’t much easier anyway)?

c) what does it matter anyway. Stigma or not (and that’s what you’re most afraid of, being stigmatised), who is perfect? No one.

I know it’s all a massive shock right now, but - particularly during the early days - the shocks come and go and you roll with them. You could even be worrying about nothing at all. The impact of which even if I’m wrong will amount to (a little infamy aside)… nothing at all. Other than what people think. And they will have other things to think about than you, very soon after.

Tomorrow’s chip paper. And (with no disrespect!) far less of interest to most than the multitude of other Ukraine/Inflation/Macron/etc. crap they fill the news channels with above, and the ‘you’ll never believe where H from Steps is living now’ below.

Either way, you will be fine.

Thanks so much for your supportive words x

 

[Elliemay]

Does anyone know what Dems 360 is. I've just read through the statement of the police officer that arrested me and at the end he says " he was wearing his bodycam throughout his encounter with ( someone else's name ) and has uploaded it to Dems 360.

 

[Traeb]

Does anyone know what Dems 360 is. I've just read through the statement of the police officer that arrested me and at the end he says " he was wearing his bodycam throughout his encounter with ( someone else's name ) and has uploaded it to Dems 360.

I had a quick google, it’s a cloud based software where the police store all their evidence.

 

[Elliemay]

I had a quick google, it’s a cloud based software where the police store all their evidence.

Just wondering why he's bothering to state he's uploaded someone else's footage .

 

[Dinlo]

Just wondering why he's bothering to state he's uploaded someone else's footage .

I read it as the officer has uploaded the footage from his bodycam not someone else's.

 

[Elliemay]

I read it as the officer has uploaded the footage from his bodycam not someone else's.

Thanks. I read it as he's uploaded footage of someone else from his bodycam.