Hi Louise,
I'm also sorry to hear how low you are feeling and relate to your deep sense of sadness. I felt exactly the same initially, I avoided leaving the house at all costs feeling that everyone, even those driving past on the road knew what had happened. When I went for a walk, to the shop and even getting on a bus, I just felt like everyone knew but the reality is, they don't. Apart from my family, a few close friends and my employer I didn't share it with anyone else. I also cried alot, and avoided speaking to anyone I knew as I didn't know what to say about my car sitting on the drive but not being used.
I think it's healthy to grieve in any situation of loss, as part of coming to terms with what happened you have to allow yourself the time and space to work through your feelings and process it all after the initial shock is over and the reality is ahead of you. This went on for quite some time for me even after my court date. I also was very dependent on my car, living in a rural area and felt daunted by the prospect of getting around for work, shopping and other essential trips. I felt as though I would never be able to get through it all. But... we are far more resourceful and stronger than we realise. Those I had confided in saw me as the person I am and not this one mistake I had made, the hate and shame was all inside of me directed to me. So, here's what I did and I hope it will help you too.
I made a decision to accept and own the dreadful mistake, it was either going to ruin me or I had to 'own' and learn from it. I started taking care of myself, I joined a gym, which I understand may not be possible for you with a young child, but you can still gets lots of exercise by walking, or there are lots of free online workouts. I have never walked so much in my life and I began to enjoy it, walking to the shops, the gym, walking the dog. I got used to using buses. I began to appreciate and be thankful for everything I had, just being alive and I thought about people and families who were much less fortunate than myself especially when the pandemic hit and families were losing loved ones. I made sure to eat properly and get enough sleep as I readjusted to a new way of life.
All these things are little but when you add them altogether they add up to a whole lot more. I think what I am trying to say is if you can focus on the good things you have, your health, your son, the simple things in life, it will help take your attention and focus away from what happened. You have your son and you have you. It doesn't happen overnight, but gradually if you look after yourself physically and mentally you will start to feel better. I still feel guilt and shame over what happened but I have learned to accept it and and forgive myself and move on. The time of your ban will pass one way or another so use this time to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself and grow from what has happened. I am grateful for everything I have these days because it could have been so much worse.
In terms of enquiring neighbours, I had one of those too, dying to know what had happened but I never enlightened her. If she instigated any conversation about the car, I made a flip comment and changed the subject quickly or just carried on with what I was doing. If it helps just use the comment you made about being on medication if that is easier and I'm sure that would shut down a conversation pretty quickly as nobody would be as rude to delve further.
I have my license back but even these days I feel guilty getting it out to drive to the local shop as I am so used to walking the mile it takes to get there. Baby steps, one at a time, will help you get to a better place.
The important thing is to remember you will feel better and anything you can do to help that will speed that up.
Sorry, for the long ramble, there are many on this forum that have been through this and are still going through it so you are not alone. This is an absolutely excellent forum and helped me not only with information but when I felt down, lonely, lost it was a comfort to read through others posts and feel part of the community, in fact it really helped get me through.
I hope this helps even just a little and helps to know you will not feel like this forever.