Caught over the limit and I can't cope please help

[Gilln1]

First thing I'd suggest is to change your username! I know it's hard now, but some good will come of this. It's probably impossible to believe right now, but it will. If I'm anything to go by, you'll enjoy your new job more than you did your last one. A lot of positives will hopefully come from the horrible sitution you're currently in.

Excellent idea on the user name Norts

Dust yourself down, head up ... you will get through this

 

[Shoegal]

So sorry you are feeling like this but I was in your position almost exactly a year ago and feeling at my absolute lowest. I am also a teacher and had to face the governors and teaching council after the court. For 8 weeks I didn’t leave the house, I was paranoid and suicidal. I can honestly say it was the worst time of my life. A year on and I feel so much better - the incident was a turning point for me. I sorted my head out, stopped my reckless behaviour and stopped all the chaos I was creating for myself. I had 18 months reduced to 13.5 with the course. I’ve just applied for my license and am looking forward to getting my independence back. I have forgiven myself but I did learn a very harsh lesson which I probably needed.

You won’t see it now but many positives will come from this. Everything is temporary, including how shit you are feeling now. This site was a godsend to me as only people on here knew how I was feeling. There’s some excellent advice on here too.

Don’t forget you are in shock right now and are feeling embarrassed. Learn from this but be kind to yourself too x

 

[Campbell1411]

Yes I've looked into the bans and so forth. I keep getting terrified my bloods will somehow be higher and I'll be in even more trouble or threatened with prison.

Driving was my job yes in fact with the dr10 I will never be able to work in that field again. I am also a qualified teacher so I think I would struggle to get back into that field if I wanted to.

The engagement team and mental health services have both written to my gp and I am booking an appointment tomorrow to go through it. I have also been referred to an addiction centre which I will be using to help me cope with giving up drinking.

Thank you so much for being understanding. I haven't got out of bed today because I feel broken.

Hey reading your post and firstly just want to say we have all been where you are and you have came to the right place, as above we are all here to support you and you are not alone. Mistakes do not define who we are as people, we live to learn. Secondly I work in the teaching profession and I was in no way penalised for my conviction as it is not seen as a “serious” crime ie like assault ect. After my incident I worked with my mental health team and nurse and honestly they are god sends. I never thought I would be able to leave my house again after sitting in the same spot for 26 hours straight after I got home that night. I was terrified, disgusted in myself, so angry and so embarrassed too. These feelings do not last. You have taken the first steps to getting help so be proud of yourself for this! Please always remember you are not alone, this is not forever (I know it feels like it now), this forum has some great members full of knowledge and we all have our own stories. As above the lingering of court is a massive weight so once this has passed you will start to feel a bit better. Once the shock has passed honestly you will find comfort in the steps back to on the road. Sending you positive thoughts, you will get there. X

 

[Sundog]

Can’t add much to what’s already been said above. Other than hold in there, because your life almost certainly isn’t over.

It may not seem like it now, it’s a huge blow to be dealt in life. Not least because - like all of us - it was down to stupidity, and was so, so avoidable.

Believe me we have all worn that sackcloth, and all know the shame that this brings.

But it really is down to you how you choose to respond. And I can’t blame you for feeling this way now, because I felt exactly the same way.

Not long after my conviction, I was fired from a boardroom position by other directors who said at the time they had my back. Turns out they couldn’t wait to get rid of me afterwards, in reality.

But not before they had made this (and my various struggles, not helped by a painful divorce and a dreadful relationship going on at the time) quite public within what is an incestuous industry within which I work.

For a few months I chose the wrong path. I carried on drowning my sorrows. Other bad habits crept into my life again. While it helped me escape from the nightmare of reality, a little, or until the next morning or the one after that at least, it helped in no way other than escapism; and succeeded only in alienating me further from so many in life who looked sneeringly at the (literal) car-wreck my once successful life had become.

But… one day I woke up, and for some reason decided it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself.

That it was time to rebuild my career and self-esteem. To stop caring what other people (especially those I thought were close but cast me aside so quickly) thought about me. To think that - yes, whist I’ll never be proud of nor justify, nor ever not regret what I did - that I’d been punished enough, and that the only one still punishing me hardest was myself.

I got fit again, and started focussing on my kids and my remaining friends more. I cut booze out completely. Then I thought if no one wants to employ me anymore, rather than change lanes why not put my degree and career experience to good use and set-up my own business. Whilst I had quite a bit of help here from some very good people I’ve known a long time, it was still very hard; but almost 3 years in I can look back and state with certainty that it was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

I still do feel the shame of what I did, and I still don’t like the looks and whispers I still notice from time-to-time. But I don’t care about it anymore. These people are far from perfect themselves. And if me getting on with myself and trying to enjoy my life again really is that much of an irritant to them, well they should **** off and get some calomine lotion because I’m not going away, and I’m certainly not going to remain sulking in the shadows anymore.

I’m a lot happier in my personal life also, and am now optimistic about the future again. And it all started the one day I woke up and decided to look at life this way.

I hope that day arrives for you soon. It will do. Meanwhile, stay strong, and don’t let this defeat you. As I’ve said so many times on here, it’s how we choose to respond that matters most.

Take care

 

[Battybird72]

Thank you everybody for all these reassuring things. I'm trying to come to terms with things slowly and figure out positive steps for after my court date.... It will be very hard and very different. I probably won't be able to afford car insurance after my ban is up either. My boyfriend said I won't be driving a car for at least 5 years....

I had some positive news about finding work nearby where I live however so that was good to hear.

I wouldn't worry too much about insurance as there have been several posts on this site whereby people have been pleasantly surprised by the price quoted. I had my licence returned this week and was HRO but no damage/accident. I was quoted exactly the same price as before my ban!