ive been to hell
- Thread starter ally
- Start date
ellen1
Member
hi ally u can reduce you ban by taking a course. i have now 11 month and it is also hell. an absolute hell, i have to spend 1.5 hours do go to work as oppsed to 20 min to 30 min. i am losing a lot of my life. but nothing i can do. i aslo smashed my car so i am now thinking, when its all done i need to get a new one and its hard.....
ally
Well Known Member
Hi there and thank you for your reply, I can share your frustration I wish I had my job but the police took it upon themselves to ring my employer before I had even been to court. This matter is with my Local MP as I have done extensive research and the police did not have the right to do this. This morning I received a letter from court I was expecting it yet inside was somebody elses charges and sentence. I admit I have done wrong and have no choice but to accept the consequences since court I believe I have to have a medical before I get my license and now this mix up with the letter. I am not being funny you would think the justice system would get that right. I have been through enough already then they send me some poor souls details rather than my own. I did ring them and they said please post it back to us immediately, or course after I have sent copies to my Local MP. I am being made to pay for my mistakes its only right that they should pay for theirs. None of us are perfect and throughout life everyone will make mistakes but it annoys me how it doesn't end, the goal posts are moved with every passing week. I just want to get on with my life the best way I can and it is proving impossible!
FLYNNO
Member
Hi ally i feel your pain as i,m going through the same and it is hell i, i got 20 mths reduced to 15 with DD course and 80 hours community order. i,m a self employed mobile mechanic well was until that idiotic choice i made but price being paid same as you. Nearly lost my flat and had to sign on the rock and roll thats hell as well. had to have a medical as HRO ban ended yesterday 20th and guess what still waiting for DVLA to make a decision as have contacted my GP don,t care what they do as nothing to hide but slows everything up so if your needing a medical get it in 90 days before disco ends as i,m 3 weeks behind thanks to dd course ****s not notifying court of my 5 month reduction and only cos i phoned DVLA i found out. keep your head up it,s a pain but it seems to go quick if you need any help i,ll try and assist i,ve posted on other pages if you wan,t to have a read this is a helpful forum but i have read some nonsense
ally
Well Known Member
Thank you so much for your reply. I am adjusting to my new way of life on the outside I put on such a front yet underneath I am broken. Its only been a week since court and I hoped that with each day that passes I would feel better but I am feeling worse. As extreme as this may sound I cant see me ever being happy again. I have taken myself away from Social media as I feel I need time to come to terms with recent events and with no job to go to I am spending a lot of time alone. Walking my dog for miles on end everyday has been my only comfort yet too much alone time makes you over think things. I have started to apply for jobs but even that is difficult. It is nice to read on this site that people actually come out of this the other side but even the journey to get your license back is hell. I honestly wish I could be put in a deep sleep for two years and be woken up when its all over.
FLYNNO
Member
Hi again ally i will try and repost again as wrote a long reply and said i wasn,t logged in which i am so here goes.
Reading your post i think your beating yourself up a bit though i understand where your coming from felt like my legs had been cut off when it happened to me i wasn,t able to work had to sign on that was a nightmare in itself have a van outside i can,t drive have a motorbike in the garage i can,t ride have an HGV class 1 licence i can,t use. I live alone parents are long gone and rest of family live in Lincoln so family communication is limited if not non existent atleast you,ve got a dog you can walk and talk to
ally
Well Known Member
Hi Flynno
I am upset to read of your situation, even though it was three weeks before I told anyone (ruined my own Christmas what right have I to ruin anyone elses) when I finally did my family they reacted different to what I thought, really understanding. I honestly don't think they realise what has happened or the impact its had on my health, well being and life. They are all getting about their business as normal, smiling and laughing in my company. I feel like I am there with them in person but not in mind. Sometimes I feel so angry and feel like shouting or hastily leaving. Please don't get me wrong I do not want a fuss but I think the majority of people thing you go to court get your punishment and that's it all over but it is so not. Following court our punishment is 24 hours a day 7 days a week there isn't a moment that goes by that something will remind me of whats happened.
Even though we have done something wrong I strongly feel there should be some support for us, my doctor wasn't interested, friends drift off after court like family thinking its all over, little do they know how painful it all is.
I am upset to read of your situation, even though it was three weeks before I told anyone (ruined my own Christmas what right have I to ruin anyone elses) when I finally did my family they reacted different to what I thought, really understanding. I honestly don't think they realise what has happened or the impact its had on my health, well being and life. They are all getting about their business as normal, smiling and laughing in my company. I feel like I am there with them in person but not in mind. Sometimes I feel so angry and feel like shouting or hastily leaving. Please don't get me wrong I do not want a fuss but I think the majority of people thing you go to court get your punishment and that's it all over but it is so not. Following court our punishment is 24 hours a day 7 days a week there isn't a moment that goes by that something will remind me of whats happened.
Even though we have done something wrong I strongly feel there should be some support for us, my doctor wasn't interested, friends drift off after court like family thinking its all over, little do they know how painful it all is.
FLYNNO
Member
Hi ally i know what your saying and hope my post hasn,t upset you wasn,t intended and no sympathy is sought. As you know it,s not all over when you go to court thats just the start. But on a positive note it,s the start that moves to the end and you will get there trust me and you will also find who your friends are in the mean time i,ve had a a handfull that have stuck by me for these 15 months and some gone off the planet but when licence is back those that stuck by me i,ll help them out and those that didn,t when i,m back on the road and they find out and want my services again they will be told where to go. as far as i,m concerned family can take it or leave it mistake has been made and i,m dealing with it and you should do the same. Don,t let people judge you and if they do tell them your not interested in their opinion if they got nothing positive to say then don,t say it at all. Don,t let it get you down it,ll be over before you know it
ally
Well Known Member
Thank you Flynno, when you mentioned you would find out who your friends are I really have. I had three hundred plus people on Facebook, deactivated my account on Christmas Day 8 people have been in touch. It has been a real eye opener. I have stayed off the site and felt better for it. As low as I feel reading stories of people self promoting themselves would have been too much. I was not prepared to live a lie and keeping a low profile seemed the best thing to do. I have gone back to basics as life was before social media. I now visit, pick up the phone.
At the moment I feel like I have been given a prison sentence. I wish I could meet up with people who have or are going through the same yet its such a taboo subject, loneliness is a terrible feeling.
At the moment I feel like I have been given a prison sentence. I wish I could meet up with people who have or are going through the same yet its such a taboo subject, loneliness is a terrible feeling.
FLYNNO
Member
yeah that would be a cool idea meeting people and chatting about it i guess thats what this site is good for. As far as a taboo subject i,ve spoken to lots of people who have been done you,ll be suprised how many come out the woodwork when you mention it when i went down the pup after getting done i,d say 80% of the people i speak to there had be done at some time in their life some more than once was never judged just given their experiences and to be fair i know 3 people that since i,ve been on the DD course have stopped driving the morning after a heavy session so i,ve saved 3 from taking a risk. In a way i got satisfaction knowing i,d stopped someone from having to go through this mess i,ve been called a bloody idiot and various other names which i,ll let them do once but if they keep on or mention it again just say don,t wanna know mate change the subject etc. My ban is finished but still no licence yet come home check mail bit of a downer but tomorrows another day and you move on but i,ll be on the DVLA,s case again Monday if it don,t turn up. Keep positive and don,t let it grind you down.
ally
Well Known Member
Hi Flynno
Thanks to you I have wasted no time booked my DD course starts in Feb, I want to get it over and done with. I just hope the course is well run as I am a lecturer and a teachers biggest critic.
I am keeping my fingers crossed your licence arrives on Monday, did you have to re apply for it or does it come automatically?
Following this course a massive wait then this medical, is this something else I have to pay for? Will I get notified about it?
Once you are back in the land of the normal and driving I hope you keep in touch..
Thanks to you I have wasted no time booked my DD course starts in Feb, I want to get it over and done with. I just hope the course is well run as I am a lecturer and a teachers biggest critic.
I am keeping my fingers crossed your licence arrives on Monday, did you have to re apply for it or does it come automatically?
Following this course a massive wait then this medical, is this something else I have to pay for? Will I get notified about it?
Once you are back in the land of the normal and driving I hope you keep in touch..
FLYNNO
Member
Hi ally booking the DD course is deffo a good move maybe a bit early but not a problem the court should have given you a date to complete the course by but get it done and thats one step nearer and it,s a good course well mine was. My course was £150. As for the DVLA medical yeah afraid you have to pay for that as well mine was £98 some docs charge vat but don,t pay more than £120 or there having you over. Yes you do have to re apply for your licence but you should get a letter in the post 90 days before your ban ends if you don,t send in a D1 form 90 days before anyway if it,s just your car licence your going for. I had to send in a D2 and D4 form because i,m applying for my HGV as well and that cost me another £102. Make sure you don,t get caught like i did and assume the course people notify the court and DVLA of your reduction chace it up yourself. I,ll help you through this process as best i can from my experiences and no i won,t be dissapering when i get licence back i,ll be here to help others like myself as lonely as you feel you won,t be while i,m here
price1367
TTC Group
Ally,
Flynno has summed up what happens nicely.
Apart from the knowledge you gain on the course, one of the big benefits is the opportunity to meet and talk with other people in the same situation. I am told that this can be the first opportunity people have had to discuss their feelings in a non judgemental way, and this means a lot to them. Where else will you be with 10-14 other people who have all messed up for the same thing? Quite often people stay in touch after the course to provide mutual support. Occasionally they go to the pub for a few drinks at the end of the course - I get invited but have to point out that ONE of us has to drive home......!
Where are you doing your course? I am running 3 in February, perhaps we will meet.
Don't be too hard on the course presenter, we do not require teaching qualifications at TTC, just a relevant background such as the Police or Probation and, most importantly, an ability to engage with people. I have bad habits, like walking in front of the projector screen, and often deviate from my notes - but to deal with real issues that clients have and want answers to. There is no point in my delivering the full drink drive course format..... but leaving clients with unanswered questions of their own. So long as they are (loosely) connected to drink driving, I will always find time to explore their issues.
The outcome of the course is what everyone wants - a reduction in their ban. An effect of the course is a large reduction in people reoffending. You might think at the moment: "who would go through this again." A survey a few years ago showed that, for people banned for drink driving, about 18% of them were reconvicted over the following 6 years. (so how many actually did it again? Those were the ones reconvicted) For those who had completed a Drink Drive Rehabilitation Course, the reconviction rate was only 7%, so clearly the course does have a big impact on how people drive when they get their licences back.
FLYNNO
Member
Hi ally phoned DVLA still processing medical and now told it could take up to 9 weeks for a response so could get a letter saying we ain,t giving you ya licence back sit on this. I,m really getting the hump now but nothing i can do hope your keeping well and not worrying too much but it,s a bloody nightmare don,t need to tell you that if anyone works for DVLA that reads posts can you tell them to get their finger out their arse
ally
Well Known Member
I am booked in at ashton under lyne second week of feb, wish I had been given the opportunity for such training prior to me driving though that would have made a difference to me and so many others. I am feeling bitter only because I have researched this so much in the past few weeks and statistics and police over time seem to be more important than educating drivers. Make this training mandatory to all drivers that would surely reduce the amount of drink drivers. Educating after the event is like taking an A Level exam in Spanish when you have attended no lessons. Its a guaranteed fail no matter which way you look at it.
ally
Well Known Member
Flynno I am frustrated for you I really am, honestly from start to finish the system makes it as awkward as they possibly can punishing you over and over again like you haven't been through enough!! Have you heard anything since? I will give you my word on this, I am currently writing a book, many people have said over the years I should do it as I have had so many life changing experiences not all bad though and as I am approaching 40 where life is supposed to begin I couldn't think of a better time to do it. I intend to discuss flaws in our so highly thought of justice system and to share my experiences. Most people go through life wearing blinkers hoping they fall into the category 'it wont happen to me' I hope to change that perception.
I am looking forward to this course I have made a note of questions I would like to ask as I need quite a lot explaining. I sent an e mail to my local MP with my concerns and he e mailed me straight back wanting to visit me which he has done. He came to my house with a lady councillor and stayed over an hour. We had a really good chat and I have his backing now I don't think I am going mad!!!!!
jh327
Member
hi I know what you mean I am awaiting my sentence next week already had licence taken away awaiting pre sentence report last offence
drunk in charge of car just sitting in it got 10 points then now failing to take a breath test and suspicion of driving the car.
I wake up every morning dreading the day ahead I have lost my home I live at my mums now I am 52 so sad I cant get a flat as only work 2 days a week I have still got my job at the moment but I am so lonely ashamed and live with depression more than ever now I miss my car so much my last part of freedom taken away but I have to get on as I so love my family and my grandchildren and see them less due to all and the silly mistakes
I feel I am living in a nightmare and I hope I will be my old self once again. be strong well as strong as anyone can be
drunk in charge of car just sitting in it got 10 points then now failing to take a breath test and suspicion of driving the car.
I wake up every morning dreading the day ahead I have lost my home I live at my mums now I am 52 so sad I cant get a flat as only work 2 days a week I have still got my job at the moment but I am so lonely ashamed and live with depression more than ever now I miss my car so much my last part of freedom taken away but I have to get on as I so love my family and my grandchildren and see them less due to all and the silly mistakes
I feel I am living in a nightmare and I hope I will be my old self once again. be strong well as strong as anyone can be
ally
Well Known Member
I can empathise with you totally but somehow you have to keep it together. Since I was arrested I have thought so many things and really evaluated my whole life. I have realised our paths are already made out, we have little control over them. You have to make something good out of something bad, I believe you are not a bad person as neither am I, but you daren't lose control. You are in charge of your own life, this is no dress rehearsal, I believe my ban happened for a reason I was to take a different path. You are alive and can offer so much. If you deterred one person from making the same mistake you and I did, its a positive..... don't despair xx
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