Janeberry
Member
I joined this site this morning. I want to explain my situation. I am so scared. I've been so stupid. Last Friday I net a friend for 'a drink'. I left earlier than planned. Driving home I crashed into a roundabout, my car tumbled & turned on its roof. Nobody else was involved & apart from bruises, bitten tongue & bump on head, I am physically ok. The car was second hand, my mum loaned me the money because my old car was irreparable through age. I'd had my 'new' car 3 weeks. I have never been in trouble, of any kind, before, never broken the law, it has always put the fear of god in me. I am 45. I am a single parent of two autistic children, 16 & 13. I have brought them up alone for the last 9 years. I am diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia (aka suicide disease) & recently been undergoing investigations for MS, which is sometimes related to TN. I am due to see my neurosurgeon in a couple of weeks, possibly to discuss surgery which involves intensive care as its a brain operation to compress a blood vessel pressing on my nerve in my head. I am on my own, cant tell anyone, so ashamed, scared I will lose everything, including my children. How can I cope without a car to take them to appointments they have regularly? My family will disown me if they knew. I wanted to be such a good role model for my boys, after coping & struggling for so long, I've finally failed, both as a human & mother. I was measured 52 in the breathalyser test. I am lucky to be alive but dont feel I deserve to be. I keep having nightmares of going to court (I will be alone as cant tell anyone) but the children being taken out of school to be told mummy has been sent to prison & me never seeing them again.
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